A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. Read More…

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A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

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Little Bruno was sitting in his grandmother’s kitchen, watching her prepare the Thanksgiving meal.

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A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class.   She quickly turned and asked, “What’s so funny, Pat?”

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1. No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
3. If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back, they always catch the second person.
4. You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
5. Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
6. Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
7. You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
8. Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
9. The best place to be when you are sad is Grandmom or Grandpop’s lap.

What do you find up a clean nose? Fingerprints

Q:What did the ghost eat at his birthday party?

A:I scream

Q: What’s red and goes up and down?
A: A tomato in an elevator.

Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue?
A: We have to stick together.

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Q: What’s red and goes up and down?
A: A tomato in an elevator.

Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue?
A: We have to stick together.

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-How do you get down from an elephant?
You don’t. You get down from a duck.

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Girl to Doctor: Doctor, Help! My brother thinks he’s a chicken! Doctor: How long has this been going on?

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How did the sand get wet? The sea weed!

Knock Knock! Who’s there? Banana! Banana who?

Knock Knock! Who’s there? Banana! Banana who?

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Q: Where does your nose go, when it gets hungry?

A: Booger King!!!

A frog walks into a bank and says “I wanna loan.”

“Well Mr.. frog, go over there to Mrs. Black’s desk, she is the loan manager, I’m sure she will be happy to talk to you,” The head desk says.

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Q: What goes TICK-TICK, WOOF-WOOF?
A: A watchdog!

Q: Why do male deer need braces?
A: Because they have “buck teeth!”

Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie? Because you can see right through him.