A computer is a fun box (note derivation from the original Portuguese “Computador”) filled with unicorns and goblins, happy magical super magic, rainbows, wart toads computer games and brazillions and brazillions (note that Portuguese is spoken in Brazil by the Brazillions) of funographic images and videos that can do simple things like milking a cat, mathematical operations (not real ones though, as these are typically carried out by armies of human slaves, in large facilities called ’schools’) and compose essays.
It’s other purposes include destruction of mankind, giving Bill Gates reasons to get filthy rich, and whacking your someone in the head(Yes!!!). It has been known to drive people up the wall while using it, which scientists think will lead to gay hockey players and several species of flying cow. It has been likened unto a potent sled dog that sucks the user into habitual addictive behaviors.
If you have fatigued your computer, it will start to moan in a rather bothering fashion. If this does happen you should get off as fast as possible, as not to get that magic juice on you. Magic juice has been known to cause extreme horniness for sharp objects.
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This is one of the funniest things I have read lately. Most of us know (or don’t) that eRepublik is a new game. One of the players decided to write a “How to for getting rid of your wife and having plenty of time to play.” Here is the article we thank the Romanian Media Ministry for:
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Date: Tue, 1 May 2008 22:46:56 EST
From: Frank M. Lanzafame
To: Multiple recipients of list CHEMED-L
Subject: Internet Downtime
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This speaks a lot about the Japanese quality standards and also cultural misunderstandings.
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10. Invalid user, not competent, or brain empty.
9. Random dara error writing all over drive C.
8. Fatal user imput error; file destroyed.
7. Destroy another? (y/n)
6. Qualified user not found
5. System is tired of reading Drive C; drive no longer valid.
4. make my day? (y/n)
3. /f parameter not specified; random dialog from Mary Worth comic strip written to all *.DOC files.
2. Bad language or stupid file name
1. Get someone who knows what he’s doing; press any key when ready
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1. If you ask me technical questions please dont argue with me because you dont like my answer. If you think you know more about the topic, why ask? And if Im arguing with you…its because I am positive that I am correct, otherwise Id just say I dont know or give you some tips on where to look it up, I dont have the time to just argue for the sake of it. Read More…
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9. E-mail flames from some guy named “Fluffy.”
8. Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard.
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Amdahl’s Law: The speed-up achievable on a parallel computer can be significantly limited by the existence of a small fraction of inherently sequential code which cannot be parallelised. (Gene Amdahl)
Augustine’s Second Law of Socioscience: For every scientific (or engineering) action, there is an equal and opposite social reaction. (Norman Augustine)
Read More…
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486 – The average IQ needed to understand a P.C. state – of – the – art computer you can’t afford.
Obsolete – Any computer you own.
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WHY E-MAIL IS LIKE A PENIS
Some folks have it, some don’t. Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. They think that those who don’t have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives them power. They are wrong. Those who don’t have it may agree that it’s a nifty toy, but think it’s not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those who don’t have it would like to try it.
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YOU KNOW YOU’VE BEEN ON THE COMPUTER FOR TOO LONG…
When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.
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