“John McCain was the big Republican winner. One pundit said McCains lucky nickel was working. He carries a lucky nickel. It must be lucky — six months ago, that was his campaign war chest.” –Jay Leno

“John McCain says that he’s been tested, re-tested and tested again. And that’s just his prostate.” –Jay Leno

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“Because it’s a long, horrifying process to run for the nomination, candidates often like to have fun on the campaign trail. And a couple of days ago — this is great — Hillary Clinton, while she was flying on her campaign airplane, pretended to be a flight attendant. But that’s not all. She was so convincing that Bill actually hit on her.” –Jay Leno

“Congratulations to Hillary Clinton. The big winner up there in New Hampshire. Congratulations to her, did a a nice job. Yeah, despite all the predictions by the pundits, Hillary Clinton refused to roll over. How many times has Bill heard that?” –Jay Leno
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“Barack Obama said today that politics has become too gummed up by money and influence … and then he had to leave to attend a fundraiser.” –Jay Leno
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