History does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.
If voting made any difference they wouldn’t let us do it.
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Di! Ecce hora! Uxor mea me necabit!
God, look at the time! My wife will kill me!
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1. “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.†– Mark Twain
2. “The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.†– St. Augustine
3. “There are no foreign lands. It is the traveler only who is foreign.†– Robert Louis Stevenson
4. “The use of traveling is to regulate imagination by reality, and instead of thinking how things may be, to see them as they are.†– Samuel Johnson Read More…
Life is short and so is money.
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.
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Peter De Vries: Motivational Funny Sayings
I love being a writer. What I can’t stand is the paperwork. Theodore Roosevelt: Motivational Funny Sayings
I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm.
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“Twenty-Five Things It Took Me Over
50 Years To Learn” by Dave Barry
1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.
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This information came over the internet some years ago. It purports to be the answers given by students in science exams around the world. It came with the comment that “it is truly astonishing what weird science our young scholars can create under the pressure of time and grades?.” I was unable to trace the author, but as the work deserves wider dissemination, I present here the answers of most interest to a medical audience.
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The best blush to use is laughter: It puts roses in your cheeks and in your soul.
- Linda Knight
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1. “Have you ever been in therapy? No? You should try it. It’s like a really easy game show where the correct answer to every question is: ‘Because of my mother.’”
Robin Greenspan Read More…
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
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2000 For the period Dec 20, 1999 to Jan 10, 2000 we got fewer new viruses than in an average five-day period of 1999. (Vesselin Bontchev)
1999 It’s possible that we could see 200,000 viruses around Y2K. (Carey Nachenberg)
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Tower: “Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o’clock, 6 miles!”
Delta 351: “Give us another hint! We have digital watches!”
“TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees.”
“Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?”
“Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?”
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1 Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what hed like to eat. “Ill have some fuckin French toast,” he says. The mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs. She asks the middle child what he wants. “Well, I guess that leaves more fuckin French toast for me,” he says. She is livid, smacks him, and sends him away. Finally she asks the youngest son what he wants for breakfast. “I dont know,” he says meekly, “but I definitely dont want the fuckin French toast.” Read More…
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Women Jokes 9 Comments.
Here is a great collection of love quotes, on one page. Enjoy, send them by email, SMS, Twitter, etc.
USE WITH CAUTION: Some of these quotes might make you seem TOO romantic.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities
or pride; so I love you because I knew no other
way than this, where ‘I’ does not exist, nor ‘you’.
So close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so
close that your eyes close as I fall asleep….Pablo Neruda.
He drew a circle to shut me out, heretic rebel,
a thing to flout. But love and I had the wit to win,
we drew a circle that took him in….Edwin Markham.
In real love you want the other person’s good.
In romantic love, you want the other person….Margaret Anderson.
Dance like no one’s watching,
love like you’ll never be hurt,
sing like no one’s listening,
live like it’s heaven on earth….William Purky.
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1. want to know God’s thoughts… the rest are details.
Albert Einstein
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Hi! This is John. I am not available for the moment but:
If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
If you are my parents, please send money.
If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money.
If you are my friends, you owe me money.
If you are a female, don’t worry, I have plenty of money.
# Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman’s bottom? That’s right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman.
# Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
# How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
# Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
# Homer no function beer well without.
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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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“The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed.”
–”The World As I See It,” originally published in FORUM AND CENTURY, 1931.
“Try to become not a man of success, but try rather to become
a man of value.”
–Life magazine. May 2, 1955.
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“I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn’t study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people” — Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
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