A Texan, while visiting Toronto, found himself in the back seat of a taxi cab on the way to his hotel. Passing by the Royal York the Texan asked the cab driver “What’s that building there?” “That’s the Royal York Hotel” replied the cabbie. “The Royal York? How long did it take to build that?” asked the Texan. “About 12 years” replied the cabbie.
The following are actual stories provided by travel agents:
I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn’t get messed up by being near the window.
There were three Aggies; one crane operator, one pole climber, one guide. The guide tied the crane to the end of a pole. The crane operator would then pick the pole up on end. The climber climbed to the top and dropped a tape measure which the guide promptly read and noted the measurement. The crane operator then lowered the pole to the ground and repsitioned to pick up another pole. This went on several times when the foreman came over and asked why they couldn’t measure the poles while they were laying on the ground? The Aggies replied, “we need to know how tall the poles are, not how long”.
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says ” We’re having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive”
“Hard drive” — Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.
A visiting professor at the University of Alabama is giving a seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: “How many people here believe in ghosts?” About 90 students raise their hands.
Hunting camels is prohibited.
Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony.
There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.
Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs. Read More…
Moose may not be viewed from an airplane.
While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.
It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.
No one may tie their pet dog to the roof of a car. Read More…
“John McCain was the big Republican winner. One pundit said McCains lucky nickel was working. He carries a lucky nickel. It must be lucky  six months ago, that was his campaign war chest.” –Jay Leno
“John McCain says that he’s been tested, re-tested and tested again. And that’s just his prostate.” –Jay Leno
You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street.
It is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb. Read More…
< face="times new roman,helvetica">You Know You’re In Alaska When…
< face="times new roman,helvetica">. . .you know which leaves make good toilet paper.
< face="times new roman,helvetica">. . .the mayor greets you on the street by your first name.
< face="times new roman,helvetica">. . .there is only one shopping plaza in town.
< face="times new roman,helvetica">. . .the municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus. Read More…
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