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Ron Paul Jokes


Ron Paul supporters are easy to recognize, their signature headgear, when properly applied also keeps fat from dripping on your grill and flaring up. Also his name is Barry.

Ron Paul supporters not only appear when his name is invoked 3 times, it drives them crazy, an admittedly short trip.

The Federal Reserve killed most of Ron Paul’s supporters puppies.

If you’re bitten by a Ron Paul supporter if you don’t become one, you do become a carrier.

Where do Ron Paul supporters have their meetups? A house of mirrors.

Ron Paul supporters never get sick and can only be killed by decapitating them. There can be/is only one.

When Ron Paul returns to the Earth, his followers believe he will restore the constitution so well that the ink will smell wet and also miraculously restore the moat around America to its pre-civil war glory.

To a Ron Paul supporter the first 10 amendments to the U.S. Constitution are collectively known as the Bill of WRONGS!

Every time a bell rings a Ron Paul supporter get his mouth very salivated.

Ron Paul supporters think everyone who doesn’t support him fears him like they fear getting abducted by aliens, again.

When the feces found in the U.S. Capital was determined to be Ron Paul’s, his supporters were quick to hail it the best idea, anywhere, ever and also delicious.

If Ron Paul falls in a forest, his supporter(s) will claim it’s because gravity is inherently unconstitutional.

Some claim Ron Paul supporters spam online polls, the truth is they just all have the same I.P. address because… Hey! LOOK kittens!

The most ardent of Ron Paul’s followers think the US government is too big when it has more people than the secret number Ron Paul has written on his magic anti-alien hemp underpants.

How many Ron Paul supporters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1 but with 81,390 twists of the wrist.

Who’s there?
Ron.
Ron who?
Exactly.

q: How do you know you are in a room with a Ron Paul supporter?
a: He’ll Tell you.
How can you tell when Ron Paul is lying?
Fox News says so!

How can you identify a Ron Paul supporter?
Look for his name written on the elastic band.

What’s the difference between Abraham Lincoln and Ron Paul?
Abraham Lincoln has already been shot.

What’s Ron Paul’s favorite form of excercise?
An evening Constitutional.

Why does Ron Paul support the Constitution?
He remembers when it was signed.

Never trust a man with two first names.

The Congress Majority Leader, Minority Leader, and Ron Paul walk into a bar. The bartender says, “You guys look sad. What’s the problem?”
The Majority Leader says, “I’m under inditement for laundering money.”
The Minority Leader says, “I’m under inditement for taking corporate bribes.”
Ron Paul says, “I’m poor.”

Why did Ron Paul go to the NRA meeting topless?
To show his support for the right to bare arms.

What did Ron Paul say to the illegal immigrant?
Adios.

Ron Paul began thinking about the problems in America. First, he thought about our involvement in foreign wars and the loss of American lives overseas, and he cried a tear. Then, he thought about our loss of liberties at home, and he cried another tear. That’s why he’s called a second-tear candidate.

Why is Ron Paul in such good health at his age?
He has a strong Constitution.

Why didn’t Ron Paul ever go to work while he was a Congressman?
He only read the first sentence in the Bill of Rights, “Congress shall pass no law.” That being the case, he went home.

Why doesn’t Ron Paul ever turn off the lights?
That kind of on-again/off-again policy is against his principles.

I asked Ron Paul what was 427 * 63 and he answered “States’ rights.”

What does John Edwards call heat damaged hair?
Blowback.
After serving his last day of his second term as President of the United States, Ron Paul dies and is met at the pearly gates by St. Peter.
St. Peter asks him, “What have you done in order to get into heaven?”
Ron Paul says, “Well I’ve restored the greatest republic on earth.”
“Brought millions out of the grip of poverty.”
“Established peace among nations.”
“And prevented all out global nuclear war.”
And St. Peter says, “No, I mean lately.”

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  • Vote Ron Paul – because we can’t invade every country.
  • Vote Ron Paul – because you still want America to be worth something.
  • Vote Ron Paul – because America should not be owned by the Clinton and Bush Familes for 3 decades.
  • Vote Ron Paul – so that you can travel without being hated in every country.
  • Vote Ron Paul – because 9.2 trillion dollars is enough US government debt, thank you.
  • Vote Ron Paul Because the Food and Drug Administration has killed enough people.
  • Vote Ron Paul – because you like visiting Mexico, not living in it. Read More…
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Posted in: Political Jokes, Ron Paul Jokes 1 Comment.
1.
Ron Paul invented Chuck Norris.
2.

I just saved a bunch of money by switching to Ron Paul.
3.

Ron Paul’s tears can shrink government. Too bad he never cries
4.

Studies by the World Health Organization show that Ron Paul is the leading cause of freedom among men.
5.
Ron Paul took a lie detector test. The lie detector tapped out.
6.

Ron Paul doesn’t cut taxes. He kills them with his bare hands.
7.

Jesus wears a wrist band that says “What Would Ron Paul Do?”
8.

While not a proctologist, Ron Paul will save this country’s ass.
9.

Ron Paul doesn’t go the gym. He stays fit by exercising his civil rights.
10.

Ron Paul delivers babies without his hands. He simply reads them the

Bill of Rights and they crawl out in anticipation of freedom
11.
Ron Paul wasn’t born, he liberated himself from the womb.
12.
Ron Paul’s idea of Gun Control is both hands on the weapon.
13.
Ron Paul doesn’t pee. He liberates urine.
14.
The Chicken crossed the road to vote for Ron Paul.
15.
God calls Ron Paul for advice.
16.
Ron Paul knows dozens of words that rhyme with “orange”.
17.
Ron Paul gets high on freedom.
18.
Ron Paul can turn water into the American Flag.
19.
When applied directly to the brain, Ron Paul instantly cures socialism.
20.
Ron Paul doesn’t act like a patriot, a patriot acts like Ron Paul.
21.
Ron Paul turned down Superman’s job.
22.
Ron Paul can believe its not butter.
23.
In Braveheart, Mel Gibson was originally supposed to scream “RON PAUL!” however, it was changed to just “Freedom!” for legal reasons.
24.
Ron Paul knows how LOST is going to end.
25.
Ron Paul named his fists “Freedom” and “Justice”.
26.
When Chuck Norris gets scared, he goes to Ron Paul.
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IN CASE YOU DIDN’T KNOW: Some claim Ron Paul supporters spam online polls, but the truth is they all have the same I.P. address because… Hey! LOOK kittens!

Q: Why doesn’t Ron Paul ever turn off the lights?
A: That kind of on-again / off-again policy is against his principles.

Q: Why does Ron Paul support the Constitution?
A: He remembers when it was signed.

FACT: To a Ron Paul supporter the first 10 amendments to the U.S. Constitution are collectively known as the Bill of Wrongs!

FACT: Never trust a man with two first names.

FACT: Only one man throughout history has ever gotten more respect than Ron Paul. Rodney Dangerfield.

Knock Knock? Who’s There? Ron. Ron Who? Exactly.

Q: How do you know you are in a room with a Ron Paul Supporter?
A: He’ll tell you. (Ok, this one is everywhere)

Q: What will former Vice President Dick Cheney say to President Elect Ron Paul when he bumps into him at the Inauguration Ball?
A: Pardon me

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