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Howard County Police officers still write their reports by hand, and the data is entered later by a computer tech into their database. One theft report stated that a farmer had lost 2,025 pigs. Thinking that to be an error, the tech called the farmer directly.

“Is it true Mr. (Smith) that you lost 2,025 pigs?” she asked.

“Yeth.” lisped the farmer.

Being a Howard County girl herself, the tech entered: “Subject lost 2 sows and 25 pigs.”

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Why is there an expiry date on my sour cream container?

Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?

Why do we send cargo by ship, and shipments by car?

Why call it a building if it’s already been built?

Why do kamikazee pilots wear helmets?

How do you know when it’s time to tune your bagpipes?

Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?

Does ‘virgin wool’ come from sheep the shepherd hasn’t caught yet?

If the front of your car says ‘DODGE’, do you really need a horn?

What do sheep count when they can’t get to sleep?

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An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary.

“Let’s have a party, Homer,” she suggested. “Let’s kill a pig.”

The farmer scratched his grizzled head. “Gee, Ethel,” he finally answered, “I don’t see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago.”

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Why is there an expiry date on my sour cream container?

Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?

Why do we send cargo by ship, and shipments by car?

Why call it a building if it’s already been built?

Why do kamikazee pilots wear helmets?

How do you know when it’s time to tune your bagpipes?

Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?

Does ‘virgin wool’ come from sheep the shepherd hasn’t caught yet?

If the front of your car says ‘DODGE’, do you really need a horn?

What do sheep count when they can’t get to sleep?

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Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a “near miss”? Shouldn’t it be called a “near hit”?

What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

How do you KNOW it’s new and improved dog food?

Why do they put locks on the doors of 24-hour stores?

What do they use to ship styrofoam?

Why is it called rush hour when everything moves so slow?

Why do they call then express lanes when during rush hour everything is stopped?

Why is abreviation such a long word?

If sour milk is used to make yogurt, how do you know when yogurt has gone bad?

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