1. A man comes into the ER and yells, ‘My wife’s going to have her baby in the cab!’ I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady’s dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly, I noticed that there were several cabs — and I was in the wrong one.
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The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, “What’s with that guy over there by the wall?”
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On the first day, God created the dog and said:
“Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in
or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.”
The dog said: “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten
years and I’ll give you back the other ten?”
So God agreed. Read More…
An agitated patient was stomping around the psychiatrist’s office, running his hands through his hair, almost in tears.
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Morris complained to his friend Irving, that love making with his wife was becoming routine and boring.”Get creative Morris. Break up the monotony.
Why don’t you try ‘playing doctor’ for an hour? That’s what I do,” said Irving.
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There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist.
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Mary went to the doctor complaining of body odor. “Do you wash?” the doctor asked the smelly young girl.
“Oh, yes,” Mary answered. “Each morning, I start at my head and wash down as far as possible. Then I start at my feet and I wash up as far as possible.”
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Generic Drug Names:Tylenol is Acetaminophen, Advil is Ibuprofen, Penicillin is Amoxycillin.
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“Doctor Doctor i feel like a bridge!”
“What’s come over you?”
“2 buses, 3 motorbikes and a train.”
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What does a short sighted gynecologist and a dog have in common?
They both have wet noses!
A rich lady from California, who was a tree hugger and a vociferous anti- hunter, purchased a piece of timber land in Oregon. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to get a good view of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her.
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Below are some actual quotes by doctors doing actual dictation on patients’ records (with some comments by me). Could YOUR doctor sound like these? This is really scary! If I have to go to the emergency room and hear my doctor dictating like some of these, I’m going to RUN!!!
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Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I’m a dog.
Doctor: Sit on the couch and we will talk about it.
But I’m not allowed up on the couch!
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Below are some actual quotes by doctors doing actual dictation on patients’ records (with some comments by me). Could YOUR doctor sound like these? This is really scary! If I have to go to the emergency room and hear my doctor dictating like some of these, I’m going to RUN!!!
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Mr. Jones gets a call from the hospital. They tell him his wife’s been in a terrible car accident. He rushes to the hospital, runs in to the ER and says his wife’s been in an accident.
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Below are some actual quotes by doctors doing actual dictation on patients’ records (with some comments by me). Could YOUR doctor sound like these? This is really scary! If I have to go to the emergency room and hear my doctor dictating like some of these, I’m going to RUN!!!
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A famous heart specialist doctor died and everyone was gathered at his funeral. A regular coffin was displayed in front of a huge heart.
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Feeling edgy, a man took a hot bath.
Just as he became comfortable, the doorbell rang.
The man got out of the tub, put on his slippers and robe and went to the door.
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A famous heart specialist doctor died and everyone was gathered at his funeral. A regular coffin was displayed in front of a huge heart.
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