England (pronounced ing-ger-lund) is widely regarded by people with a lesser intelligence as The United States’s little bitch puppet. It is the largest exporter of haters of Scotland and pakistan (due to brown friday). After brown friday when pakies raided airbases, stole choppers, and airlifted all of Englands call centers off to India, and as of 2006 the british public have had to learn pakistani if they want tech support with there internets, it didnt take long for the banks to follow suit and now Pakistani is Englands second language with gook following a close third and polish creeping in at fourth. british telecom thought it would be a wise idea to change there name to Bombay telecom. England was created in 1066 by the Satan himself, just after creating Marmite. England is (without question) the greatest country on earth as long as you aren’t fleeing opression or ethnic cleansing in your homeland or happen to be french, some would say its best to have no sense of smell as most corner shops are run by pakies that dont seem to be familiar with normal household products such as Cillit Bang!

England is the only thing that has kept the hatred of the French alive, until the USA picked up the torch in 2003 now in 2007 Canada, Australia, Asia and most of Europe have joined there crusade to mock the french. Hating the French, or “Frog Bashing”, has been an English national pastime since the rout and slaughter of the French nobility at The Battle of Crecy in 1346 and Battle of Agincourt in 1415. England is also commonly believed to be a ficticious fantasy island inhabited by fraggles and gummi bears a few miles off the coast of Newfieland, Canada (aka Hoserland) by some americans that dont own passports. Contrary to popular belief, England was NOT struck by a gigantic Iceberg the white debris had in fact blown down from Scotlands dandruff problem. It remains the most populated floating object in the universe.

The greatest practical joke ever played on the French by the British occurred in 1940. The French fleet was laying at anchor in Mers-el-Kebir, French North Africa (now Algeria) when elements of the Royal Navy Mediterranian Fleet blasted the crap out of them. Oh how DeGaulle and Churchill laughed about that in later years.