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Real Estate



Two by Fours

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Some men in a pickup truck drove to a lumber yard. One of the men walked into the office and said, “We need some four-by-twos.”

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Posted in Apartment and Rent, Real Estate at January 20th, 2008. No Comments.

FSBO

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When a real-estate agency hadn’t sold our house, we decided to do it ourselves. I placed ads in the local papers, spray painted a “For Sale” message on a sign board and posted it outside.

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Posted in Apartment and Rent, Real Estate at January 20th, 2008. No Comments.

Shorties

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My buyers went through debt consolidation. Now they have only one bill they won’t pay.

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Posted in Real Estate at January 20th, 2008. 1 Comment.

Home for sale

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When the last of their three children was about to leave home, my parents decided to buy a smaller house.

The Real Estate sign went up. Read More…

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Posted in Homes for Sale, Real Estate at January 20th, 2008. No Comments.

Rent

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AGENT: “How much are they asking for your rent now?”
BUYER: “Oh, about twice a day.”

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Posted in Apartment and Rent, Real Estate at January 20th, 2008. No Comments.

Sold

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Best Deal in TOWN:
One Sunday afternoon a couple sees an ad in the paper. They can’t believe their eyes. There is a house in the paper for $1000 that is in the nicest part of town. We are talking about a Highland Park mansion for $1000. They think this has to be a misprint, but decide to call anyway.
They say to lady who answers we saw your ad, and realize it is a misprint correct. She tells them no it’s not & you are actually the first ones to call. Read More…

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Posted in Apartment and Rent, Real Estate at January 20th, 2008. No Comments.

Letters to a landlord

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Excerpts from actual letters sent to landlords

The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared.

I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfires and burnt my knob off. Read More…

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Posted in Letters, Lists, Property Managers, Real Estate at January 20th, 2008. No Comments.

Heaven and Hell

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A property manager dies and soon finds himself standing in front of St. Peter. St. Peter tells him “You have a choice of going to heaven or to hell and I suggest you check them both out before deciding.” So he chooses to check out hell first.

He goes down to hell and finds himself in the middle of the biggest party he has ever seen. People are dancing and drinking and doing the limbo (and nobody’s doing the Macarena!). Everyone is laughing and having a great time. Read More…

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Posted in Apartment and Rent, Consultants, Property Managers, Real Estate, Saint Peter at January 20th, 2008. No Comments.