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Insurance Jokes


Did you hear about the shoe factory that burnt down?

Two hundred soles were lost.

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A lawyer in Charlotte, NC purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim with the insurance company.

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  • Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.
  • I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.
  • I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment. Read More…
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  • A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face.
  • The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.
  • My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.
  • When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car. Read More…
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Some real insurance claims:

  • The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him.
  • The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again.
  • I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.
  • A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
  • I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress when we met on impact.
  • The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him.
  • The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
  • I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
  • To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian.
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