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A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had.
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A family was visiting an Indian reservation when they happen upon an old tribesman laying face down in the middle Of the road with his ear pressed firmly against the blacktop.
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The following are actual stories provided by travel agents:
I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn’t get messed up by being near the window.
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“There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane…”
“We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wing of the airplane.
“Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking in the lavatories will be asked to leave the plane immediately.” Read More…
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Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. If you look out of the window on the port, or left, side of the aircraft you will see that the inner engine is on fire just below the fuel tanks in the wing. If you look out at the starboard, or right, wing you will observe that a widening crack has developed at the wing root, making it unlikely that the wing will remain attached to the fuselage. If you look down at the surface of the sea over which the aircraft is flying, you will notice a small orange dot. This is a life-raft. In it are your co-pilot, your flight engineer and myself.
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The weary holiday traveler looked in disbelief at a bunch of mistletoe hanging above the luggage scale at the baggage check-in center… Turning to the attendant he asked, “Ok, I give up. Why is the mistletoe there above the luggage scale?” The attendant responded, “So you can kiss your luggage goodbye.”
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A tourist was being led through the swamps of Florida. “Is it true,” he asked, “that an alligator won’t attack you if you carry a flashlight?”
“That depends,” replied the guide, “on how fast you carry the flashlight.”
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A tourist is traveling with a guide through one of the thickest jungles in Latin America, when he comes across an ancient Mayan temple. The tourist is entranced by the temple, and asks the guide for details. To this, the guide states that archaeologists are carrying out excavations, and still finding great treasures. The tourist then queries how old the temple is.
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