First known date from Poland is 1410, when Chrobry (another idiotic nick) made a bet with Emo-Hitler over the two crappy swords. The loser had to walk whole day with these swords in his anus. Unfortunately, Chrobry lost. From this time, all Poles have been assholes. Literally. Later, Poland joined Lithuania to found the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth.

Poland did, however, save Western Europe from the barbarity of the Ottoman Empire by massacring 300 000 turkish soldiers who were gypsying around the environs of Vienna, looking for work. So they can’t be all bad? Right?

The most important moment in Poland history came in 1939, when polish (Kazimierz the Small) and german (Otto the Idiot) leader repeated the old bet. Of course, polish poor fuck again lost his bet.

After winning (thrid time) presidental election in 2017, Andrzej Lepper established first concentration camps in Poland for people, who voted for someone else.

The nation of Poland suffered a tremendous tragedy after World War III, when the Lithuanian army repatriated the Polish city of Wilno and forced the inhabitants to return to their motherland. The resulting overpopulation caused a famine of unseen proportions which claimed all of the displaced residents of Wilno. After that polish people invented the only way to bring freedom back to Wilno. This way was wudzia. They produced it a lot, then invite all Lithuanians for birthday and forced them to drink. Quickly the Wilno was back in Poland and Lithuanians back in hospitals.