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Bill Gates Jokes


DATING AND SOCIAL LIFE

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Dating is never easy for engineers. A normal person will employ various indirect and duplicitous methods to create a false impression of attractiveness. Engineers are incapable of placing appearance above function.
Fortunately, engineers have an ace in the hole. They are widely recognized as superior marriage material: intelligent, dependable, employed, honest, and handy around the house. Read More…




Bill Gates, the founder of Microsoft decided to retire.
Here is what Jon Swift says about it:

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Cars

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At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon.”

In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (by Mr Welch himself):

Read More…



Bill Sux at .18 Microns

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API – Time Magazine reports an interesting case of high-tech graffiti. It seems that a couple of Intel engineers working on the design of a recent version of the Pentium microprocessor included a message that describes their feelings about Bill Gates, president of Microsoft, a good corporate pal of Intel’s.
Read More…



Bill Gates dies in a car accident

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Bill Gates dies in a car accident.

He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter.

Read More…



Bill Gates dies in a car accident

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Bill Gates dies in a car accident.

He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter.

Read More…



GM vs Microsoft

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At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon.”

In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (by Mr Welch himself):

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics: Read More…



Gates Meets St. Peter

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Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter.

“Well, Bill, I’m really confused on this call; I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows ‘95. I’m going to do something I’ve never done before in your case; I’m going to let you decide where you want to go.”

Bill replied, “well, what’s the difference between the two?”

St. Peter said, “I’m willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision.” Read More…



Bill Gates Goes to Hell

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Bill Gates dies and goes to hell.

Satan greets him: “Welcome Mr. Gates, we’ve been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You’ve been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you’ve got me in a good mood, I’ll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you’ll be locked up forever.”

Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Read More…



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