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Thank you for calling the U.S. Armed Forces.
All of our units are currently busy assisting other customers in various trouble-spots around the world.
When you hear the beep, please leave the name of your country, region of the crisis, and a number where we can reach you.
As soon as we finish cleaning up the Balkans, Afghanistan, Iraq, N. Korea, Indonesia, Philippines, Malaysia, Saudi Arabia, Iran … well you get the picture, and our compulsory “Consideration of the Feelings of Others” orientation classes, we’ll be happy to return your call.
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Posted in
USA Jokes,
military at May 11th, 2008.
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It was early morning at an Army camp and the first sergeant was calling out names for the daily work parties listed on a piece of paper:
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Posted in
military at May 11th, 2008.
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The Commanding Officer of a Regiment in the U. S. Marine Corps was about to start the morning briefing to his Staff and Battalion and Company Commanders. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, he decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had
been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of sex was ‘work’ and how much of it was ‘pleasure?’ The X.O. chimed in with 75-25% in favor of work.
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Posted in
military at April 27th, 2008.
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1. Land War in Asia
2. Changed name from highly catchy ‘Schickelgruber’ to boring ‘Hitler’
3. Leaving his little mustache: not growing a friendly Abe Lincoln
beard to instill trust among subjects
4. Not buying lifts for his shoes Read More…
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Posted in
Adolf Hitler Jokes,
Lists,
military at February 29th, 2008.
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1. Lock all friends and family outside. Your only means of
communication should be with letters that your neighbours have held for
at least three weeks, discarding two of five.
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Posted in
How To,
Lists,
military at February 29th, 2008.
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USMC Rules For Gun Fighting
1. Bring a gun. Preferably, bring at least two guns. Bring all of your friends who have guns. Bring their friends who have guns.
2. If you can, make friends with those on the crew served weapons. Bring them as well. Borrow money from them, it gives them an added incentive to protect you. Read More…
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Posted in
military at February 28th, 2008.
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An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.
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Posted in
military at February 21st, 2008.
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The Captain called the Sergeant in. “Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones’ mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me.”
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Posted in
military at February 21st, 2008.
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