The jokes about blondes have been made by the blondes themselves. This is because they want to confuse their enemies. The plan is to make people laugh so bad, that they might die from it. So far, the plan hasn’t been succesful, as we all can see. People laugh much about it. Let’s just face it: the jokes about blond bimbos are not funny enough. The blondes have now started to work on a new plan. Their secret headquarters is stationed right under the South Pole. Actually, they had planned to place it on the North Pole, but they did like Columbus, and went the wrong way. The reason why they wanted to go to the North Pole, was because they wanted to be closer to Santa Claus.
The truth is, blondes can not help being dumb. The reason they are so dumb is because when god made them, he installed a special chip. This chip “controls” what they say. Here is how it works: A blonde is asked, “How many sides are on an octagon?”. Before she can say the right answer, 8, the chip redirects her. This is what she is now thinking: Well, an octopus lives in the ocean. The ocean is blue. There are 4 letters in blue. So her answer would be 4. This is how the chip works.
A Blonde who was down on her luck decided to raise some money by kidnapping a kid and holding him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “I’ve kidnapped you.”
She then wrote a note saying,
I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground.
Signed, A Blonde. Read More…
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She’d seen many books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.” Read More…
A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
She says to the clerk, “May I have 50 Christmas stamps?”
The clerk says, “What denomination?”
The blonde says, “God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists.”
It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.
Read More…
A brunette is walking through the country, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed it, a genie appears.
Read More…
A husband and his blonde wife were in bed asleep. About 2 AM they both awoke to the neighbors dog barking extremely loudly…
After lying there for the next 30 minutes unable to go to sleep, she tells her husband to go do something about the barking dog. He tells her he has tried to tell the dog to be quiet before and the dog always continues to bark!
There’s nothing HE can do… Read More…
A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer asks her some questions:
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Pamela Anderson buys a box of laundry detergent, and it says on the box, “20 uses”. A day later, she calls the laundry detergent company and says” I bought your product and the box says ‘20 uses’, but all it does is my laundry!
Lindsay Lohan is travelling from Kansas City to Toronto for the shooting of her new Movie A Woman of No Importance.
Read More…
Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?
A: Reservations
Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring
Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: Why do Blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.
Q: Why do blondes use tampons with extra long strings?
A: So the crabs can go bungee-jumping
What is chemistry’s greatest achievement ……
Artificial blondes!
Q: Why did the blonde bake a chicken for three and a half days?
A: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125
Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?
A: “Thanks for the refill!”
Blonde #1: Have you ever read Shakespeare?”
Blonde #2: No, who wrote it?”
Q: What is the diffrence between a smart blonde and bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been seen.
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