Some men in a pickup truck drove to a lumber yard. One of the men walked into the office and said, “We need some four-by-twos.”

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When a real-estate agency hadn’t sold our house, we decided to do it ourselves. I placed ads in the local papers, spray painted a “For Sale” message on a sign board and posted it outside.

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AGENT: “How much are they asking for your rent now?”
BUYER: “Oh, about twice a day.”

Best Deal in TOWN:
One Sunday afternoon a couple sees an ad in the paper. They can’t believe their eyes. There is a house in the paper for $1000 that is in the nicest part of town. We are talking about a Highland Park mansion for $1000. They think this has to be a misprint, but decide to call anyway.
They say to lady who answers we saw your ad, and realize it is a misprint correct. She tells them no it’s not & you are actually the first ones to call. Read More…

A property manager dies and soon finds himself standing in front of St. Peter. St. Peter tells him “You have a choice of going to heaven or to hell and I suggest you check them both out before deciding.” So he chooses to check out hell first.

He goes down to hell and finds himself in the middle of the biggest party he has ever seen. People are dancing and drinking and doing the limbo (and nobody’s doing the Macarena!). Everyone is laughing and having a great time. Read More…