IF YOU HAVE MORE, WE’RE READY TO ADD THEM TO THE LIST.

1. Go on a search for as many good climbing trees as possible, climb as high as you both can in all of them, compile photo evidence

2. Go to a major chain bookstore, and leave notes to future readers in copies of your favorite books

3. Have her dress up as a ghost and you dress uup us Pacman. Walk around downtown holding hands, and whenever anyone sees you two, pretend to be embarrassed, and run off screaming “wocka wocka wocka.”

4. Create photo evidence suggesting that you went on an adventure that didn’t really happen

5. Dress up as superherous and stop at least one petty crime “ie. jaywalking, littering….”

6. Build forts out of furniture and blankets, and wage war with paper airplanes. Read More…

There were two lovers, who were really into spiritualism and reincarnation. They vowed that if either died, the other one remaining would try to contact the partner in the other world exactly 100 days after their death.

Unfortunately, a few weeks later, the young man died in a car wreck. True to her word, his sweetheart tried to contact him in the spirit world exactly 100 days later. Read More…

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!”

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Read More…

She says = English
1.  We need = I want
2.  It’s your decision = The correct decision should be
obvious by now
3.  Do what you want =  You’ll pay for this later
4.  We need to talk = Read More…

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.

Read More…

A man staggered into the casualty department of a hospital, he had severe concussion, two black eyes, multiple bruising and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

Read More…

Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

Read More…

1.
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, ‘What’s on TV?’
I said, ‘Dust.’

And then the fight started…

2.
My wife and I are watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” while we were in bed.. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”
“No,” she answered.
I then said, “Is that your final answer?”
She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, ”Yes.”
So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”

And then the fight started….

3.
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife’s back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, “The weather out there is terrible.”

My loving wife of 10 years replied, “Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?”

And that’s how the fight started… Read More…

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

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Dear (____rejectee’s name here____ ),

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How To Make Women Happy…
The Point System
(advice according to women)

Read More…

Larry wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Larry looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.

Read More…

Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day, at a very smart jeweller’s shop in Hatton Garden, London.

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Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine’s Day.

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Girls, don’t be upset! You know, deep inside your souls, that I’m right.

Read More…

A dad is on his way home a bit late from the office when he realises that it’s his daughter’s birthday and he has not bought her a gift.

Read More…

One day, a man walks into a dentist’s office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth.

Read More…

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend’s clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We’ve never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. Read More…