A cop pulled up two Irish drunks, and asked to the first, “What’s your name and address?”

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O’Connell was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily. Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg.

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An Irishman, a black guy, and a white guy were driving through the desert when they suddenly ran out of gas. They all decided to start walking to the nearest town (which they had passed 50 miles back) to get some help.

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There was an Irishman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Tasmania. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark.

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Concerning bagpipes: The Irish invented them and gave them to the Scots as a joke, and the Scots haven’t seen the joke yet.

Q: Did you hear about the Irishman who was tap dancing?
A: He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.

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Saddam Hussein is sitting at home when the phone rings. He picks it up and says “Hello”. The voice at the end of the phone says “Hello Mr. Hussein, it’s Paddy here. I’m just ringing to let you know that we’ve declared war on your country.” SH smiles to himself, “Come on Paddy”, he says, “there’s no point you declaring war on us, you wouldn’t stand a chance.” Paddy replies, “No, no, we’ve had ourselves a meeting, and we’ve decided to declare war on you.”

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