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Short Adolf Hitler Jokes




1) Three women – a German, a Jew and a polack – all gave birth to seven pound baby boys at the same time. The nurses got the babies mixed up somehow and couldn’t tell which baby belonged to which mother.
After an hour of mass confusion the father of the German baby decided he would settle the problem. He walked into the nursery and lined up the three infants in a row. He then clicked his heels, raised his arm in a salute and shouted, “Heil Hitler!”
The German baby snapped to attention, the Jewish baby shit it’s pants and the polish baby played in it!

2) Why did Hitler kill himself?
The Jews sent him a gas bill!

3) Did you hear about the queer German?
Ate Off Hitler!

4) What sweet did Hitler hate more than any other?
Jew Jew Beans……But I heard he enjoyed them roasted!

5) Have you heard about Hitler’s new microwave oven?
It seats 500!

6) What was Adolf’s favourite song?
“If I knew you were coming I’d have baked a kike!”

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155 Responses to “Short Adolf Hitler Jokes”

  1. April 18th, 2009 at 5:51 pm #austin hater

    what was adolfs favorite jew?
    austin

  2. July 5th, 2009 at 12:24 pm #ladan

    hello they are very funny i hate him u know wat there is this girl in my class that has a mushatche that people call hitler and i got pure jokes to say now!!
    thnx !!

  3. August 19th, 2009 at 4:45 pm #Helen

    These jokes aren’t funny, they aren’t even aimed at offending Hitler. I can’t see any below that look good either. Why not just make jokes about the people who deserve to be ridiculed and shamed for their disgusting behavior instead of laughing at the MASS SLAUGHTERED?

  4. October 3rd, 2009 at 10:09 pm #Anonymous

    can you tell Helen? These jokes do make fun of the jews. Besides the holocaust didn’t even REALLY happen, the jews made it up for pity and money.

  5. October 4th, 2009 at 11:31 am #Helen

    Oh Anonymous. It’s such a pity there are still people like you getting brianwashed. What did 6 million Jews just fall of the end of the Earth? “For money” indeed. If you’re thick enough to believe stereotypes as well as deny the Holocaust you probably still think the Earth is flat.

  6. October 5th, 2009 at 1:39 am #Garret Gebhardt

    I agree with Helen. End of debate. If you antisemites want to do something about ‘the jewish problem’ then do something about it already so we can jail you rather than listen to you Seig Heil about shit

  7. October 5th, 2009 at 12:39 pm #Helen

    Nice one double G

  8. October 7th, 2009 at 9:54 am #jesus

    theyre jokes you fucking idiots get over it

    hey i got a joke for you

    what kind of people cant take jokes…..women

  9. October 7th, 2009 at 11:12 am #Bessy

    Hey guys, chillax a bit, they are just jokes no need to get offended by them. LOL :P

  10. October 9th, 2009 at 6:25 am #Helen

    That was an appalling attempt to be funny and I’m going to ignore the world “chillax”.

    Let me set this straight for the two imbeciles above:
    A joke is a few sentences aimed at creating a humorous, often exaggerated, story. I don’t understand HOW you can twist the brutal deaths of 6 million+ people into a humorous story.
    If jokes about the Holocaust are to be accepted, then surely, if someone cracked a joke about that oh-so-amusing time your Granddad died or your friend got raped or you had your legs amputated, that would be fine, because they are just jokes. Right? You wouldn’t feel upset at how people could laugh at your misfortune? Or are you actually just employees of Smilespedia trying to defend your shitty excuse for a website of humour?

  11. October 10th, 2009 at 1:31 pm #Eponymous

    Don’t like it? Don’t read it. If a joke is funny it doesn’t matter what it’s about. It’s not like the truth is denied or anything. Sensitive idiots everywhere these days…

    PS I bet the post about the Holocaust being fake was trolling. I bet you are trolling too, because none of the Jews I know is all hypersensitive and whiny. Also, people can talk however they want. You are no grammar police.

  12. October 14th, 2009 at 4:06 am #Helen

    Eponymous
    How the Hell am I supposed to know if I’m going to like a joke before I read it?

    And if you’re saying people can talk however they want, what gives you the right to tell me I’m wrong?

    GOSH

  13. October 16th, 2009 at 6:15 am #God

    Look people, sort it out yeah? Stop being such a little girl helen..

  14. October 17th, 2009 at 4:42 pm #Eponymous

    Jokes belong to books and websites about jokes. People that post just to show how sensitive and deep, or people who are hypersensitive and lack the mental capacit to discern deliberate ridicule from joking don’t. Guess where you are now.

    Anyway, I am going to follow the way of God. He knows best.

  15. October 19th, 2009 at 10:58 am #Helen

    Sort it out? Yes, we shall. On here? OK.
    Yeah, I’ll be a “little girl” if I feel like it, thanks.

    Eponymous, you might as well tell me where I am.

  16. October 19th, 2009 at 2:40 pm #Eponumous

    At the side of the neurotics that take everything seriously and don’t discern deliberate ridicule from plain joking. Was it that difficult?

  17. October 26th, 2009 at 3:49 pm #The Mediator

    Eponymous and God are right, Helen, you just need to relax. I agree that the deaths of thousands of people is nothing to joke about, a joke is a joke and if people think it is funny, they will post it in here.

    Don’t start flame wars.

  18. October 29th, 2009 at 8:10 am #Helen

    The funny thing is, I am relaxed. I just don’t think these jokes are right, fair or funny and I’m calmly stating my opinion.

  19. October 30th, 2009 at 9:10 am #Mancer

    Helen, I congratulate you on setting back other people’s opinions of Women 200 years.
    Where Women were seen but not heard…

  20. November 2nd, 2009 at 3:21 pm #you don't need to know.

    funny shit.

  21. November 2nd, 2009 at 3:23 pm #you don't need to know.

    HELEN.
    shut up + get a life.
    its funny jokes, dont like them?
    get off the page!

  22. November 3rd, 2009 at 1:58 pm #i am hitler spawn

    kill more jews

  23. November 3rd, 2009 at 2:56 pm #Einsatzgruppen

    These jokes are silly. Jokes based on holcaust (which never happened) are ruibbish.

  24. November 3rd, 2009 at 6:21 pm #Adolf

    This one is just for Helen

    Hitler and the Pig

    Adolf Hitler is speeding through Germany with his chauffeur at the wheel on his way to an important address.
    Driving down a country road, the chauffeur (who is distracted, looking out the window at the countryside) doesn’t see a pig walk out onto the road, and he hits it with the car.

    Stopping the car, he jumps out, and Adolf climbs out also to see what is going on. The chauffeur, very distressed by what he’s done asks Hitler what they should do, and Hitler tells him impatiently that they’re in a hurry and they should move the pig to the side of the road and go to the address and worry about it later.

    All the way to the address the chauffeur, who is a fairly good-hearted person despite his employer, is worried about the family who owned the pig and wondered how they’d react to discovering the pig, so when they arrived he asked Hitler whether he shouldn’t drive back to the farm and let them know what happened.

    Hitler agrees before hurrying to the podium, and the Chauffeur hurries back down the road.

    Four hours later, the Chauffeur comes stumbling down the road, his arms full of sausage and bread and his breath smelling of liquor.

    Hitler in a massive rage demands to know what has happened to him, and the chauffeur explains, “I did what I thought was right. I went to the farm where I killed the pig. When I went and knocked on the door and gave them the news, they gave me this sausage and bread, fed me the best ale I’ve ever tasted and let me have their way with their beautiful nubile young daughter and then sent me on my way after all of them hugging me.”

    Adolf seemed confused by this and asks his chauffeur, “well what exactly did you tell them?”

    To which the chauffeur replied “I really can’t understand it either, all I did was tell them “I’m Hitler’s Chauffeur, and I killed the pig.”

  25. November 17th, 2009 at 4:10 pm #duhh

    im on helens side she is right, yeah people have their own opinions and that is hers.

    hitler was a prat anyway so get over yaselfs his seix feet under where he should be!!

  26. November 20th, 2009 at 12:31 am #monica

    I agree with the people who said these are just jokes. And -coughs- I am a girl. These jokes are simply mad for fun, we are not saying that what happened to the Jews was right. Some jokes werent funny, yes. But others were. Like Hitler and the gas bill, that was hiliarious. Its not us saying that 6 million Jews getting gased was right, its us saying that its an ironic and funny demeanor, how “hitler killed himself because he seen the gas bill”. The whole thing with the “woman should be seen and not heard”, even made me laugh. You cant go around in life being hypersensitve to every little thing. You have to laugh it off, people will make jokes if its right or not. Theres no use trying to stop whats going to happen. I was never a racist girl and I still am not to this day, but I can look at jokes about black and jews and deffiantly see the humor in it. Am I a bad person because of it? Am I saying that it was right what has happened throughout the course of history? Am I saying that they deserved what they got? No, I am not. Neither are the other people who commented. What happened to 6 million PEOPLE, not just jews, was wrong, but if the people who it happened to can kind of make light of the situation and see the humor in stuff when its funny, why cant you? Really good debate though guys, as a 16 year old, it was quite fun. Seriously.

  27. November 23rd, 2009 at 5:14 pm #EPIC

    Guys, if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it. This isn’t the place to pick a fight.

  28. December 5th, 2009 at 8:09 pm #Unanimous

    Q: What does Hitler think antiSemitisim is?
    A: Hating Jews more than neccesary!!!

  29. December 5th, 2009 at 10:37 pm #Carly

    There’s nothing wrong with jokes, but I really think any jokes pertaining to the Holocaust are in bad taste, be they funny or not. I agree with Helen completely, with everything she has said. ‘Eponymous’ and ‘Anonymous’, quit being so insensitive. What Helen said about the Grandad thing was totally true.

    Like even if there’s a Jewish person whom you know and don’t like, you don’t go making Holocaust references relating to them… It’s just wrong.

    If Smilespedia wants to post these jokes, so be it. But for you people to try to restrict Helen from expressing her totally valid opinion, SHUT UP, and quit being such assholes.

  30. December 7th, 2009 at 12:48 am #A girl.

    Smile :)

  31. December 7th, 2009 at 2:34 pm #Jst me

    What’s faster then the speed of sound

    a Jew with a cupon

    and Helen shut the fuck up u Jew

  32. December 8th, 2009 at 9:26 am #Piwi

    Helen has a point to be honest because the jokes are about Jews and not Hitler. The fact that they are also rubbish doesn’t help much. As for all the misogynists and 14/88 internet nazis – fuck you, you’re not the master race – Hitler only had one bollock and eventually shot himself in the head. Now that is funny :)

  33. December 8th, 2009 at 9:34 am #Jew vee dubl-you

    Helen, stop being an Internet tough guy. All of us cant stop enjoying ourselves because some random interjew got offended. We’re joking. Dont like it? Suck it up, because me, and other people, dont give the slightest hint of a damn.

  34. December 8th, 2009 at 2:57 pm #bob marley

    lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololoolllllllllooooooolololololololl shut up HELEN

  35. December 8th, 2009 at 2:58 pm #bob marley

    HELEN if you want to be a b@t@c@h then you can so fu?k of

  36. December 8th, 2009 at 3:00 pm #bob marley

    guys there should be more jokes about hitler then the jews cause remmber that bastard wanted us dead and not the jews

  37. December 9th, 2009 at 2:36 pm #Jew vee dubl-you

    Helen really needs to get laid. But if she DOESNT, its discrimination. Helen, stop being a f\_/cking Jew. 81tch.

  38. December 10th, 2009 at 7:07 am #Mat

    If you get offended too easily like our honourable Helen then avoid joke websites that are not moderated.

    I would question Helen as to how she got to this page originally as I typed “hitler jokes” in google search so obviously the jokes I come across aren’t going to be about easter bunny are they???? lol

    The Gas Bill joke was funny.

  39. December 28th, 2009 at 1:26 am #helen killer

    helen must be so happy she won an internet battle. they say fighting on the internet is like winning the special olympics. even if you win your still a retard

  40. December 28th, 2009 at 3:52 pm #Helen

    I’m a Jew and I don’t like this your al ugly and smelly and stupid

  41. December 31st, 2009 at 1:37 am #mark

    does anybody have change for the pop machine

  42. December 31st, 2009 at 7:31 am #josh grimbits

    i love Adolf Hitler

  43. December 31st, 2009 at 7:56 pm #Hitler lover

    ALL HAIL HITLER, MAY HE RISE ONCE MORE

  44. January 2nd, 2010 at 2:39 pm #Pal pal

    I wish if he does come back again he kills all you dumb people who does not belive him slaughtering 6 million Jews…..what a stereotypically shit opinion to even suggest!

    Helen you rule

  45. January 3rd, 2010 at 1:29 am #AmazingPeeeeeple

    Dear people.
    You all need to get a life!
    You are arguing over a joke.
    That’s rediculous.
    Helen: You need to go eat some cock and get HAPPY!
    okay? And if you don’t like cock… have some pussy. It’s good too. ^_^

    MMMMMk?
    Have a happy day.
    =DDD

    annnd PS.
    Josh Grimbits: Your disguisting. =D

  46. January 7th, 2010 at 2:51 pm #nazikiller

    I’m on Helen’s side!
    Helen way to hold your stance against these douche bags. I’m in Palo Alto if any of you filthy hitler lovers want to hook up for an arse woopin… LMAO

  47. January 7th, 2010 at 2:53 pm #nazikiller

    Pal Pal you rock!

  48. January 7th, 2010 at 3:02 pm #nazikiller

    A German officer and his driver are whizzing along a country road when a dog
    rushes out and is hit by their car. Spotting a nearby farm house, the idiot nazi driver is sent up to tell the people of the demise of their pet. He returns with food and wine. The other idiot nazi is amazed.

    “Why did they give you that?”

    “I do not know. All I did was knock on the door and say Heil Hitler! The damn dog is dead!”

    hitler lovers are douche bags.

  49. January 7th, 2010 at 3:12 pm #PrInC3eSs Babyy X

    helen or whatevr ur face is u need to get a life and stop acting like reatarted idiot and i reallllly appreciate what killer helen said so go and get a life u fool and nevr google this “HITLER JOKES” UGHHHHHHHH

  50. January 7th, 2010 at 4:58 pm #nazikiller

    PrInC3eSs Babyy X you need to kiss my ass. She can Google your mom if she wants to. And who writes ughhhhhh? Ya douche

  51. January 7th, 2010 at 5:54 pm #Pal pal

    Thank you nazikiller

    PrInC3eSs Babyy X is surely just a baby who does not understand this controversial argument……and also does not have the right to tell people what they can google and what not….get a life girl!

  52. January 7th, 2010 at 6:13 pm #PrInC3eSs Babyy X

    Pal Pal y dnt u go and get a life and I knw everything about u coz its easy to find an idiots information.
    and u Nazi killer u r some next up shit girl or boy or BOTH probably.
    (+:@) u dnt evn knw me so stop calling me a kid u IDIOT.

    and nazi killler KMT!!!!!

  53. January 7th, 2010 at 6:44 pm #nazikiller

    PrInC3eSs Babyy X you are an idiot. And from your name and the way you write, you definitely live in the ghetto somewhere and you were raised by your grandma or aunty… LMAO

    Did I nail it?

  54. January 7th, 2010 at 7:00 pm #nazikiller

    Oh and cRackbabyy X your threat sounds real scary and all, just so you know.. it’s a felony to threaten someone. I’m sure you are well aware of it, I’m sure you have a brother or an uncle in the state pen.

  55. January 7th, 2010 at 11:54 pm #Jew That Loves Hitler

    These jokes are just jokes. Weather it is a joke about mud or the holocaust it doesnt matter. Get the fuck over it. Yeah the holocaust actually happened and people died, but to get over that they turn to comedy. These jokes are funny as hell and i am jewish. I am probably the worst jew ever because although hitler did what he did, it takes a pretty smart fucking guy to do what he did. He turned Millions of people against each other. He was a propaganda mastermind. I make fun of jews all the time, and so do my friends and every one else and here is a funny as hell thing to do.

    Make a hook shape out of your index finger, but completly bend your finger so the tip of your finger is facing down

    then take a pen and color the side of your finger closest to your middle finger, but only that little top piece from when u made a flat hook,

    then walk around with the flat hook right under your nose and say “Kill Ze Jews” it is funny as hell

  56. January 8th, 2010 at 12:31 pm #Pal pal

    Nazikiller is right about cRackbabyy X
    and,

    Jew That Loves Hitler their is no pride in revealing that you make fun of your fellow Jews and is no big achievement.

    The whole making a hook out of your finger thing just suits you well and you can hang yourself on it….

  57. January 8th, 2010 at 1:35 pm #PrInC3eSs Babyy X

    you nazikiller you are a bloody idiot and i was born wth luv alright and for ur kind information I’m PAL PAL’S REAL SISTER and guess what we live together u asswhole so go and get a fucking life and kill whoever u want peace of shit
    and crackbabyy whatevr u flippin foool dnt go to whoever raised me alright. shity head
    and….its my choice how to write and where to live my laptop my hands u disabled suck ya.

  58. January 9th, 2010 at 5:01 pm #hashashbags

    jews are the scum of the earth.. full stop
    thats all..
    k bye

  59. January 11th, 2010 at 1:59 pm #Anti-Nazi w/gun

    From what little I reasy you all are…arguing over…a joke…add bonus to the funnies LMAO

    PS God bless all faithful Jews & Christians!

  60. January 11th, 2010 at 11:10 pm #jessica proper hew

    loooooooooooooooooool
    legends
    hitler baby <3

  61. January 12th, 2010 at 2:09 am #Bear Jew

    I’m Jewish, my grandparents and my mother were in the Holocaust and you know what, they aren’t offended but silly jokes. Come on the microwave one is classic. Anyone hear about the new Jewish car? It stops on a dime and picks it up too :)

    Peace, Shalom, Salam
    and to all you tribesman lila tov

  62. January 13th, 2010 at 3:13 pm #fat man

    hi helen,you wouldn’t happen to be jewesh? p.s. hitler is so my bag baby

  63. January 14th, 2010 at 12:17 pm #The Fat Biatch

    HAHAHA GANG DE BEBE C JUSTE D BLAGUE
    VOULEZ VOUS EN SAVOIR UNE PLUS DROLE
    VOTRE FACE !!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA

  64. January 21st, 2010 at 6:12 am #CloudStrifeVader

    Listen all you Inglorious Basterds who hate Hitler.

    Cry me a river,
    Build yourself a bridge…
    And GET OVER IT!

  65. January 25th, 2010 at 6:14 pm #helen You suck

    Helen your a pig and shut the hell up.I don’t care if your a Jew. its a fucking joke so come your flat ass tits!

  66. January 25th, 2010 at 6:51 pm #helen you bitch

    helen shut up you fat good for nothing Jew! grow up! it a fucking joke you loser

  67. January 25th, 2010 at 6:59 pm #stupidhere

    hitlers hooker mom was over 9000 fatter than him…….

  68. January 26th, 2010 at 3:45 pm #JAMERZ

    ALL THE JOKES WERE FUNNY YER BOII

  69. January 29th, 2010 at 9:04 am #PrInC3eSs babyy X

    aliee its a joke [&+] helen you suck and helen you bitch i reallly appreciate you guys :P

  70. February 2nd, 2010 at 5:35 am #Mystic

    Hum I think everyone has their opinion to everything they want to…
    I agree with helen but still they are just jokes
    im brunette and ppl make joks saying im blackz
    and? I don’t seem to care xD
    hum another thing hey princessbabby w\e your called
    your google translator sucks so much =/

    take care guys try do not fight about stupid things there are such important things to think about
    by the way I hate hitler a person can not decide if the others may live or not thats GOD job

  71. February 4th, 2010 at 12:56 pm #Eponymous

    People… You need to realize that the problem wasn’t whether Hitler was evil or not, it is a historical fact that he wasn’t exactly the guy you want to hang out with. The argument was whether it is right to make these jokes, because some people confuse them with reality. There are opinions there, and I say that just because one of your relatives was eaten by a lion you just can’t say that all jokes about lions are insensitive. Same thing with the Holocaust, same thing with jokes about every genocide that ever happened. Damn it, there is a “Helen Keller” category in this site, should it be banned because the mother of a blind/dead child read it and immediately thought these jokes made fun of her child? No.

  72. February 4th, 2010 at 2:21 pm #wertyop

    man you guys need more jokes

  73. February 4th, 2010 at 2:23 pm #wertyop

    plus in his early days he wanted to be a preist

  74. February 4th, 2010 at 2:23 pm #wertyop

    before he became a dictarer

  75. February 4th, 2010 at 2:24 pm #wertyop

    his father beat him all the time

  76. February 4th, 2010 at 2:27 pm #wertyop

    he blame the jews for killing his mother with a drug

  77. February 7th, 2010 at 3:16 pm #You dirty Jew

    hahahahahahahaha this shits funny

  78. February 15th, 2010 at 4:15 pm #fuck hitler

    they are just jokes get over it
    but they are funny

  79. February 18th, 2010 at 12:55 am #Alan Nathan Hartley Jr.

    Even though it seems that making fun of jews offends a lot of people in this room…
    Here are some good JOKES i know off the top of my head, enjoy.

    How do you fit 30 jews into a volkswagon bug?
    2 in the front, 2 in the back and 26 in the ash tray.

    What’s the difference between jews and boyscouts?
    Boyscouts come back from thier camps.

    What’s the difference between a jew and a pizza?
    A pizza doesn’t scream when you put it in the oven.

    What did the little german boy get for his birthday?
    An easy bake oven.

    What’s the difference between jews and santa?
    Santa goes down the chimney.

    Never get old, and if you want i have plenty of dead baby jokes waiting to be cracked into aswell.

  80. February 27th, 2010 at 11:37 pm #Forrealzkaitlyn

    Ok you guys are being completely redikulous (sorry I suck at spelling) your arguing over a joke. They weren’t entirely funny but they didn’t suck. Helen your getting worked up over nothing. Your Jewish, I’m proud of you now get over it. I know plenty of Jewish people and they crack Jew jokes all the time and their not “bad jews” for it either. The people that make the Jews and are one of those that think like Hitler, yes offense will be taken but thats not what these are about, there to laugh about. How do you get over anything tragic? For me when my Yia Yia (Grandma in Greek) died I walked up to my friend and said “Hey my Yia Yia just croaked finally.” HaHa funny. It sucked that she died but to get over things you have to laugh about it. I’m not saying for people to get over the Holocaust, I think that that should be in our minds forever. But Helen your making a big deal over this spilled milk. Have you ever heard/read a 9-11 joke? If you have then your a hypocrit, thats not funny either.
    Anyways you guys wanna hear a REALLY funny FACT about Hitler, fuck these jokes, well here they are:
    1. Adolf Hitler liked to be beat and urinated on during sex.
    2. His birthday was on 4-20
    3. He had a gas problem, farted ALLLL the time.

    Aren’t those funny.

  81. March 2nd, 2010 at 11:05 pm #rellouise

    YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING RETARDED!!
    get a life, we just spent 50 minutes reading all your dumbass comments.
    do you really have nothng better to do?
    it’s hilarious to see how people have bitch-fights with randoms over the stupid shit they see on the internet..
    does it solve anything?! NO!!
    seriously guys, you should all get back to whacking off over asian porn. at least then you’d be doing something productive.
    AND LEARN TO FUCKING SPELL!!

    Lots of love =]
    x

  82. March 5th, 2010 at 12:57 pm #redrufus

    Helen, if hitler were alive today I think you’d be the first to get on your knees and suck his cock before you let him buttfuck you, all because of your acute persecution complex.

  83. March 6th, 2010 at 8:43 pm #hilters donut

    Hahaha.
    the forums are funnier than the jokes.
    Helen- you are a nutbag
    Garret Gebhardt- you just suck
    fuck me if you cant make a joke 60+ after the fact,
    I suppose Victorian Era jokes about beating orphan are evil too.
    or better still space shuttle disaster jokes, whoops aready done, its called NASA
    PS funny how its bigotry or racsism exept when it comes to jews. they are the one’s who called everyone else gentiles and we are the racist ones???
    WTF?????
    keep laughing at EVERYONE!!!!!

  84. March 7th, 2010 at 12:30 am #Fuck Off, Hitler was a genius

    i wasnt going to leave a reply but Forrealzkaitlyn is fucking retarded. You know why there are no 9-11 jokes? the govt censors them. It’s called an inside job? dont believe me? i dont give a fuck, your just blind like every capitalistic dog. and your facts on the Fuhrer are all wrong other than 4-20. Fucking degenerate

  85. March 8th, 2010 at 12:17 am #ahhhh shit

    every time someone (jew) or (helen) for example talks about ww2 and its casualties, they always bitch about how 6 million jews were killed …. its just fuckin annoying! i understant the gravity of this and i am not saying its right but how many other people( civies, drafted soldiers on all side) died, innocent americans,canadians,japanese,germans and many many fuckin more…… but that dont matter to these people. cuz they only care about theyre own kind, i seem to see some simularities lol.

  86. March 8th, 2010 at 9:31 pm #Forrealzkaitlyn

    Ok Fuck Off, Hitler was a genius, my facts are correct. Sorry if you don’t want your little buddy to come off as a freak, but he was. And sorry to ruin your day but we don’t live in a cummunist government, jokes aren’t censored or anything. And I wasn’t saying that there aren’t any jokes on 9-11, because there are. http://www.ooze.com/articles/9-11-jokes.html check those out, there on 9-11.
    Degenerate- A depraved, corrupt, or vicious person.
    A person lacking or having progressively lost normative biological or psychological characteristics. Yeah thats not me. Fuck you.
    You do know that being capitalist is a good thing right? I apologize, you seem to like dictatorship.

    And yeah my facts are right, see if you would pick up a book and read it would tell you that. Let me give you the book that I got it from and you can get it through your thick skull.
    In The Minds Of Murderers: The Inside Story Of Criminal Profiling by Paul Roland pages 36-49.

  87. March 9th, 2010 at 10:08 pm #rellouise

    Fuck Off, Hitler was a genius:
    i couldn’t agree more.

  88. March 10th, 2010 at 12:27 am #Fuck Off, Hitler was a genius

    @ Rellouise:
    kudos to you, my friend. You are the only other person here who reads ad comprehends true wisdom and does not mindlessly type lies told by capitalists for the ignorants to blindly respect and defend on their grave.

  89. March 10th, 2010 at 12:28 am #Fuck Off, Hitler was a genius

    And*

  90. March 10th, 2010 at 6:49 am #rellouise

    To ‘Fuck off, Hiltler was a genius’

    First.. why thank you for the kudos. :)
    Second.. ‘mindlessly type lies’..
    HAHAHAHHA YES! FINALLY, THE TRUTH HAS BEEN BROUGHT ON US ALL! about fuckin’ time!
    And third..
    Though we are probably the only ones on this thing with any intelligence, im sorry, but i have to dissagree with your name :s
    Though Hitler was a smart man, at how we went about what he wanted, no doubt about that.
    Wait.. Okay, i change my mind, i agree with your name.
    but, he was a BAD BAD man.
    hahahhaha.

  91. March 10th, 2010 at 4:23 pm #Fuck Off, Hitler was a genius

    Well you deserve the kudos, No doubt. So np. And yea the sad truth. Shame how people don’t realize they are government slaves who mindlessly think they are patriotic. And well you have a right to opinion, considerig your intelligence, but you must consider the state corruption and econcomic crisis Germany was in, which hitler fixed. This page is getting full. Feel free to email at [email protected]

  92. March 10th, 2010 at 9:47 pm #Forrealzkaitlyn

    Never said Hitler wasn’t a genius because he most deffiently was. I just don’t think he should’ve done what he had.

  93. March 11th, 2010 at 12:17 am #Fuck Off, Hitler was a genius

    well i respect how you acknowledge his genius but dont respect how you find humor in those pathetic lies you told. would you find humor if i said that gandhi or muhomad or dr king were homosexual???

  94. March 12th, 2010 at 4:19 pm #Forrealzkaitlyn

    I wouldn’t care if anyone were homosexual, there life have sex with whomever they want. There not lies. Sorry you can’t acknowledge them for what they are.

  95. March 12th, 2010 at 8:03 pm #you are all nazi's

    hey everyone my name is pooloo and i have a cat named connor thompson plz add him on facebook he thinks these jokes are funny i also have a dog named josh jenkins plz stop being mean every1 josh jenskins doesnt like this he said if u keep bein mean hes gunna sh!t his pants

  96. March 12th, 2010 at 8:35 pm #Fuck Off, Hitler was a genius

    well this website is pissing me off. (and it’s not you). The comments which you posted aren’t here although my email notified me…

    Forrealzkaitlyn:
    if you want to continue this intellectual debate, email me at the email i posted before.

    p.s:
    There is also a book claiming Hitler was homosexual, do you believe that? no, they are not proven (nor dis-proven, however), and are all rumors, including those you stated.

  97. March 17th, 2010 at 4:04 pm #Anonymus

    hitler was a genius i cant belive no one else thought of gathering up the jews and gassing them TBH i would of just threw a penny in between them and watch them fight to the death them i would hammer the winner

  98. March 18th, 2010 at 6:19 pm #timemachine

    I think it’s not funny.
    My uncle died in a concentration Camp. He felt drunk from the watchtower.

  99. March 21st, 2010 at 5:11 pm #German, not Nazi

    I hate when people get all bent out of shape over Jew jokes. I’m German and I get called a Nazi, but I don’t lose my mind. Some of my relatives where in the SS Nazi army and my great grandfather shot himself in the arm so he didn’t have to fight for a cause he didn’t believe in. I love my heritage and I find it funny that people get all shocked and upset that I had Nazi relatives. Some didn’t have a choice, and I will not down them or say I was ashamed. You did what you had to do. Over all, my family was neutral. And the Americans weren’t so great either. One of them kept trying to pick up my great-aunt like she was some prostitute and she would do what they wanted…well she didn’t and she stood up for herself and was thrown in the American jail for it.

    Hitler did do good and helped Germany. My great-aunt, who still lives in Germany, actually said the other day she wishes that another Hitler would come around to help them, but of course not persecute or kill people.

    I have a Jewish friend who doesn’t get angry over these jokes, she just fires right back with another joke. I never said what happened to them was right by any means, but why get so angry over something that happened so long ago?

  100. March 28th, 2010 at 7:45 pm #Sharpshooter

    Hitler was a genius.
    If he had achieved his dream of ridding the world of the filthy Jews the world would be a better place.

    As for the holocaust many more Russians died in death camps than Jews.
    The whoa is me, the world is against us, mentality just sucks.
    Most Jews are miserable, bigoted and just don’t get the notion its okay to have
    A happy life.
    get over it!

    Jokes
    Q: How can you tell a Jewish house?
    A: Toilet paper on the washing line.

    Q: Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?
    A: He comes down the chimney and says “Hi kids! You want to buy some presents?”

    Q: How was the Grand Canyon formed?
    A: Someone dropped 20 cents down a rabbit hole at a Jewish Convention.

    Q: What’s the difference between pizzas and Jews?
    A: Pizzas don’t scream in the oven.

    Q: Why did the Jews wander in the desert for forty years?
    A: Because someone dropped a twenty-cent piece.

    Q: Why do Jews have such big noses?
    A: Because air is free.

    Q: What happens when a Jew with a full erection walks into a wall?
    A: He breaks his nose.

    Q: What’s the definition of a queer Jew?
    A: A Jew who likes girls more than money.

    Q: How did they know that Jesus was Jewish?
    A: Because he lived at home until he was thirty, he went into his father’s business, his mother thought he was God, and he thought his mother was a virgin.

    Peace.

  101. March 31st, 2010 at 7:09 pm #cedrique

    what does hitler say in the car?
    More gass , more gass !!!

  102. April 7th, 2010 at 5:49 pm #scott

    helen u sad cunt get a life!

  103. April 9th, 2010 at 9:50 pm #that one guy

    what the fuck is all this shit about the holocaust being fake, its not fake because there are ppl today that are realy old and were in the holocaust and they arent even jew bags, so im glad it was real :)

  104. April 15th, 2010 at 5:52 pm #D-Rock

    Most of you on here are douschebags! The holocaust is real! Helen, you are absolutely right! Even though 1 or 2 of these jokes are somewhat funny, you all are racist bastards (Except for people who agree with Helen)! PrInC3eSs Babyy X, you are a stupid bitch! Helen was just leaving her opinion, and I totally agree with her, so leave her the fuck alone! All of you racist ass holes can go to hell! Helen is right, now back the hell off!
    While Helen is in heaven, having the best time ever, you people will be burning in hell!

    Helen, you rock!

  105. April 17th, 2010 at 4:59 am #primerspawn

    Why didnt Hitler like drinking tequila? ….because it made him mean.

    How do you get 32 people in a Volkswagon? …2 germans up front, 30 jews in the ashtray. (ouch)

  106. April 18th, 2010 at 2:06 pm #Jokes101

    I did’nt get any of the jokes above.

  107. April 24th, 2010 at 6:46 am #anon

    How can you say the Holocaust isn’t real?! What does that make Auschwitz, a salon?!

    There is so much proof that the Holocaust exists, including the fact that it was one of the causes of the World War!

    I would welcome ANY proof that the 6 million Jews and the millions of others who had lost their lives and their livelihood to the Holocaust weren’t ACTUALLY at the holocaust.

    And as for the jokes, there is a limit and unfortunately these jokes are sailing REALLY close to it

  108. April 29th, 2010 at 1:03 am #I_Fkd_Helen_Twice

    Helen, I’ve got some delicious balls for your mouth.

  109. May 1st, 2010 at 4:21 pm #cumfarter

    cumfart cocktail!!!

    heil hitler!!!

  110. May 2nd, 2010 at 8:45 pm #88

    i believe in free speech for all , thanks for the fun and great jokes .
    dont stop the music

  111. May 5th, 2010 at 12:58 am #haha!

    Helen is the funniest!

  112. May 5th, 2010 at 12:59 am #fat jesus

    fuck all of you!

  113. May 5th, 2010 at 5:03 pm #cheyanne

    i thought that some some of them were funny but not the baby one.. that waz just mean

  114. May 7th, 2010 at 8:33 pm #mmmmm pussy (;

    i love to eat pussy (;

  115. May 20th, 2010 at 1:51 am #I love hitler

    I think this is all funny plus those jews needed to be killed anyways O HEIL HITLER!!!!

  116. May 20th, 2010 at 8:23 am #samkenny

    helen shut the fuck up you ugly cunt. sort your nose out you bitch.

    what do you call a moustache on each side of the lip?

    a rotational himler

  117. May 21st, 2010 at 6:07 pm #I love hitler

    Hahahhah Who is the greatest Jewish cook ever?
    HITLER!!!!!!

    I love him<333

  118. May 27th, 2010 at 6:22 am #Some guy

    helen, you are an arrogant little retard who blabs on about crap :) you probably are a jew as well . . . just saying ;)

  119. May 30th, 2010 at 8:30 pm #Hitler was a Gay Nazi

    To EVERYONE:
    These jokes are funny, and I know some of you are Jews, but seriously? Arguing over a couple of jokes? Heh, of course everyone has their opinions. But OVER A JOKE? Grow up.

  120. May 30th, 2010 at 8:31 pm #Hitler was a Gay Nazi

    And yes, the Holocaust IS real. Nazis were, and ALWAYS WILL BE douchebags.

  121. May 31st, 2010 at 1:35 am #Grammar Nazi (Yes, I just went there.)

    Now, how many of you just finished reading through all of the useless, inane, redundant, and often downright unintelligible comments above, and feel like you just wasted the last hour (or however long the reading took you) of your life?

    Right. How about we admit that–seeing as how there a debate consists of more than a simple assertion/counter (e.g., ‘It’s true!’ ‘No it isn’t!’ ‘Yes it is!’, etc.)–that everyone of the above comments serves no really useful purpose, and forget about the whole thing, eh?

    For those of you spouting random facts about Hitler, please provide proof if you want something believed. Admittedly, Hitler was a tactical genius (see “Blitzkrieg”). Yes, what he did was horrible. Yes, holocaust-based jokes are tactless, tasteless, and are as bad as any other form of schadenfreude (Lit. happiness at the misfortune of others).

    Please, if you’re planning on complaining about someone’s spelling/grammar, check your own first, OK? There’s nothing worse than telling someone that they can’t spell while failing to capitalize a single letter in your comment.

    Maybe no one reads this, maybe no one cares. At least it’s been said now.

  122. June 1st, 2010 at 6:23 pm #America

    the holocaust happened, the jews took a hard hit then america fucked hitler in the ass. it happened get over. if you cant accept a few jokes meant to lighten an otherwise controversial topic, than you need to get the stick out of your ass. its called comic relief.

  123. June 3rd, 2010 at 12:50 pm #Fireblade893

    i read the entire string – don’t quite know why – and am amazed. you all need to get out a bit more. who said eat cock or pussy – whatever you prefer or both – dead right. it’s SO much better than getting uptight in cyberspace.

  124. June 8th, 2010 at 2:59 pm #HELEN YOU ROCK.

    ok guys. this is bullshit.
    hitler was the most horrible man on this earth. he killed millions simply because he was jelous of the jews.
    he let them die because of his stupid little pee brain which is a big as your balls, so SHUT THE FUCK UP.

    he deserves to rot in hell, and its alll goood becuase that is deffinately what is going on down there.

  125. June 9th, 2010 at 12:38 pm #canttell

    why did germany lose the war?

    the nazis threw the grenades and britain pulled the trigger thing and threw them back.

  126. June 13th, 2010 at 9:24 pm #poopyscooper

    The jewish nation are more arrogant than the NAzis ever were… they need to be brought down a few pegs

  127. June 15th, 2010 at 1:34 am #ashley

    hah so I think I enjoyed everyone bashing each other more than the jokes.
    i really like the one about the special Olympics.

  128. June 15th, 2010 at 6:42 am #amra

    Will someone please shove a cock in Helens mouth so she’ll stop whining and bitching like a 60 year old idiot whos mouth has been stretched by dicks?

  129. June 15th, 2010 at 3:12 pm #Fuhrer////JUDENFREI!!!!

    why did hitler kill himself?- he saw the gas bill

    how do you get a jew in an oven?- throw some change in it

    how do you get a jew out of a crowd?-step on glass see if it says mazel tov!!!

  130. June 17th, 2010 at 2:18 pm #Meh

    These jokes are great. XD

  131. June 22nd, 2010 at 12:23 pm #* D a r c ii e *

    well its not funny … would you joke about it if your family got killed by some guy trying to take over ”/ no but its a joke and people have their own apinions if you dont want to be offensive then to other people who are its their problem for being pathetic and childish about serious things

  132. July 4th, 2010 at 10:34 am #scavenger

    jokes101
    duz u not jet holocaust
    jues burnt……..
    ashtray……..
    gedeit now……

  133. July 6th, 2010 at 1:17 am #helen suuuckss

    Helen yous a biothc. jew jokes are faccking hilarious. youre just a pissy jew woman. thats a double whammy. when you get older then youll be the third worst driver after negro old woman and mexi old woman. chilllhaxe betch

  134. July 7th, 2010 at 5:01 am #People in this World...

    Wow. This flame war has entertained me more than the jokes. Anyways, I just find it just plain stupid that you people are arguing over this.

    For those of you “Helen Fans” STFU. How did you get to this site in the first place? Hmmm I wonder.

    sit in room with computer on and somehow gets to http://www.smilespedia.com/short-adolf-hitler-jokes/

    and then what do you do?

    Oh wow. I’m completely against Adolf Hitler because he killed 6 million jews that mofo cock-sucking bastard. But anyways, I want to read Adolf Hitler jokes for some reason. Oh wow. Look at these jokes.

    gives an emotion – and I’m willing to bet that you guys have at least felt partially humored by one of the jokes

    Oh now lets look at the comments. Oh my. Look at them, calling the holocaust a lie. I know. I always wanted to be on the good side and I’m just itching for an argument and something fun to do so I don’t have to derive all my entertainment from reading short adolf hitler jokes so I might as well join in this argument. Ha. I’m on the good side bitches so I got history and empathy on my side.

    And for those of you guys who would suck Hitler’s cock on command, STFU as well.

    The holocaust fucking happened. Get used to it. If you don’t believe it, go and to google and instead of typing “hot porn for me to “entertain” myself” go and type in “holocaust concentration camp pictures” instead. Then turn off your search filters (which you probably already have done) and look at those. Now if someone were – in some crazy pysochotic way – to fake those pictures of the dead bodies then surely someone would’ve announced that they’re fake. But no one did. I wonder why that is. HMMMM. Wouldn’t it have been great if Hezbollah could claim the holocaust was a lie? Or any other nation that has gone to war with Israel? But they didn’t. And why not? BECAUSE IT FUCKING HAPPENED THATS WHY.

  135. July 11th, 2010 at 12:42 pm #God follower

    Ello everyone.Before i continue my English aint the greatest so dont sht talk about the rest.. I can see many opinions on this subject..So there goes mine.. Hitler was a sick person (for real now) and had a hate about Jews. If he hated em so much he shouldnt make em soappes etc..He should just kill em. Nice jokes about him and the jews. Its still a joke nothing serious i guess.. Anw the only thing i bieleve Hitler done is to vanish the Jews.No offence Jews now but you are gonna help the Son of Satan to rule the earth for 7 years or so till God kicks his ass..So yh i dnt hate you jews cause Jesus said love each other..But i just dnt like you for the thing you are going to do..This was my opinion about the Jews. Dnt reply i aint never coming back to this site cause i have more important things to do than online “fighting” Have a great day and life everyone..Peace out!

  136. July 14th, 2010 at 8:51 pm #cedrique

    @ helen and her folowers xD
    just chill! just some jokes !! it’s funny , ..
    it’s bad what happened , but i don’t cry of it :o
    do you like Yo mama jokes more?

    ps : @ all ppl who do love those jokes.
    why didn’t the jews fight in wo2?
    they where on camp.

  137. July 15th, 2010 at 6:53 pm #Chuck Norris

    I killed Hitler.

    Because I can.

    You’re next, Helen.

  138. July 15th, 2010 at 7:00 pm #Optimus Prime

    Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
    Chuck Norris enjoys a good practical joke. His favorite is where he removes your lower intestine and pretends to make a balloon animal out of it. Then he cracks your skull open with a Volvo for not complimenting him on his balloon animal.

    Chuck Norris is my Lover.

    Optimus Prime wuz here

  139. July 17th, 2010 at 12:23 pm #Pathetic

    Ok im neither German or Jewish, but if the holocaust dident happen what happened to those 6 MILLION Jews, they just hid underground?

  140. July 25th, 2010 at 5:33 pm #Krin

    I feel terrible about what happened to the Jews, and I pray it never happens again, but this is a HITLER joke site LOL I figured there would be lots of stuff about Jews in here, in fact I expected it! It’s a JOKE and everyone is different with what they find funny. If Hitler jokes aren’t your thing you should probably look up Happy fluffy bunny cloud jokes or something :)

    If we can’t take horrible things and make light out of them then there would be a lot of depressed unhappy people in the world! And why stomp on someone elses creativity! That’s how things happen, people dream of things and shouldn’t be afraid to express themselves.. If this isn’t for you just go somewhere else… find something you like and talk positive about the things you like.. why stick around and talk negative about the things you don’t like?

    That’s just my opinion : )

  141. July 26th, 2010 at 10:45 am #MissFortune

    At the end of the day, these are just jokes. I think it’s really sad that as soon as someone says they find the jokes funny they become an instant racist. It’s like saying “if you don’t agree with me you’re wrong” which is exactly the kind of thinking which caused events like the holocaust in the first place (even though a joke and genocide can hardly be compared). Hitler was an incredibly clever man, and although I strongly disagree with what was done to the Jews under the Nazi regime I think it’s incredibly pathetic and childish to judge any sort of humour related to it as racist or nazi. Jokes poke fun at different subjects and everyone has a different opinion on what is good and what is tasteless.
    To D-Rock in particular – your opinion is no more right than anyone elses.

  142. July 26th, 2010 at 11:02 am #MissFortune

    History is written by the winners. The Allies won the war so now the key example of modern moral evil is Hitler and the Nazis. Hitler has become the poster-boy for evil. If Hitler had won world war 2 then the Jews would be considered the moral evil, and we’d be hailing Hitler as a hero. Do you really think morals are some sort of divine law? These jokes may seem cruel, cruel to people who are raised to associate Hitler’s name with everything that is wrong and immoral and cruel. I don’t condone the holocaust by any means, but people are so ueber-sensative concerning this history, and Hitler did some great things for Germany too. Food for thought.

  143. August 5th, 2010 at 10:08 pm #Anon

    I’ve studied humour my entire life; at an amateur, professional and scholarly level. I can tell you, as an expert, that these jokes are fucking god-awful. I’m not so much offended by the antisemitism as I am by how awful the jokes are. This shit must be hilarious if your 12, or have Down’s syndrome, or are uneducated white trash. In fact, I can imagine some 12 year old Down’s-ed out kid telling these jokes at a Klan rally some where and getting solid laughs.

    Incidentally, Helen, Don’t let these walking arguments for forced sterilization get you down. Retards are impervious to rational argument.

  144. August 27th, 2010 at 10:15 pm #random person

    what about all the good things hitler did? lol
    dude the holocaust is over. its been 70+ years. i am white. and i thing white jokes are funny.
    what do white people and fences have in common?
    their always being jumped by mexicans. lololololololololololololololololololololololololol

  145. September 5th, 2010 at 5:41 am #Conor

    Helen, shut the fuck up. Kthxbai

  146. September 5th, 2010 at 9:08 am #nick1

    hellen shut up and get a life they are just jokes.
    Jokes are meant to be laughed at and arn’t meant to be serious.

    Ps. What did hitler say when he was thirsty.
    Got any more jews?

  147. September 7th, 2010 at 8:14 pm #A-Dogg

    i agree with helen the earth is flat.

  148. September 9th, 2010 at 1:14 pm #Hitlers number 1 fan

    why did u search hitler jokes if ur just gna cry about it? stupid fuckin jew

  149. September 13th, 2010 at 1:11 am #footballhead

    “Who ate off Hitler”?
    Who ever blew Napoleon’s bone apart!

  150. September 16th, 2010 at 12:06 pm #Vixter

    Your all mad, The world wars were terrible , however none of you lived through it…………so why so personal. Worry about what will happen whilst you are alive not before

    You all just like to wollow in self pitty for things that do not concern you, it was before you were born.

    Be more upset about loosing a person you know or have touched or loved……not a stadistic from 70 years +

    Utter stupidness

  151. September 16th, 2010 at 12:08 pm #Vixter

    BTW D-ROCK, Not nice telling people they will burn in hell…….Now who’s the nasty person.

  152. September 17th, 2010 at 5:47 pm #hunter

    i bet helens a jew…
    thats why shes getting so mad

  153. September 18th, 2010 at 11:57 am #Matt

    So I read through all of this ridiculous thread, and at first I was against Helen. I’m Jewish, president of my youth group, very active in my temple, and I always laugh at Jewish jokes. I don’t like to take anything too seriously. But as I kept reading through and saw the reactions to “F off, Hitler was a genius” were not strongly against him, my opinions changed. There has to be a balance of humor. If people want to say something offends them, they have every right to. But also, if you’re offended, don’t be mindless enough to ignore it–that’s how the holocaust happened in the first place. Laugh at the jokes, but learn the lesson. L’shana tova!

  154. March 17th, 2011 at 7:35 pm #Kosher

    Very Good information,I have bookmarked this site for future and will keep a eye on your other posts. Thanks The Jewish

  155. March 22nd, 2011 at 5:38 pm #DadonSon

    This one is forr helen x)

    A little Jew boy in a Gas camp was playing with an ashtray and hitler comes beside him and says ” Are you looking for someone “

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