Funniest Ron Paul Jokes

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Ron Paul supporters are easy to recognize, their signature headgear, when properly applied also keeps fat from dripping on your grill and flaring up. Also his name is Barry.

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Posted in Political, Ron Paul Jokes at May 8th, 2008. No Comments.

New Barack Obama Jokes

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Joke 1

REPORTER (to Barack Obama): At the Academy Awards, Jon Stewart made fun of the fact that your last name, Obama, sounds like Osama, the name of the most hated man on the planet. What is your reaction?

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Posted in Barack Obama Jokes, Political at May 8th, 2008. No Comments.

Vote Ron Paul Jokes

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  • Vote Ron Paul - because we can’t invade every country.
  • Vote Ron Paul - because you still want America to be worth something.
  • Vote Ron Paul - because America should not be owned by the Clinton and Bush Familes for 3 decades.
  • Vote Ron Paul - so that you can travel without being hated in every country.
  • Vote Ron Paul - because 9.2 trillion dollars is enough US government debt, thank you.
  • Vote Ron Paul – Because the Food and Drug Administration has killed enough people.
  • Vote Ron Paul - because you like visiting Mexico, not living in it. Read More…

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Posted in Political, Ron Paul Jokes at May 8th, 2008. 1 Comment.

Chuck Norris style Ron Paul jokes

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1.
Ron Paul invented Chuck Norris.

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Ron Paul Jokes

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IN CASE YOU DIDN’T KNOW: Some claim Ron Paul supporters spam online polls, but the truth is they all have the same I.P. address because… Hey! LOOK kittens!

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Posted in Political, Ron Paul Jokes at May 8th, 2008. No Comments.

Fred Thompson Jokes

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“I don’t know if you heard this or not but Fred Thompson has dropped out of the presidential race. Don’t worry about Fred, he can always go back to his prestigious fake law firm. … Fred spent all day packing the bags under his eyes.” –David Letterman

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Posted in Fred Thompson Jokes, Political at May 8th, 2008. No Comments.

The 2008 Presidential Candidates

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~ from RHF

We in Denmark cannot figure out why you are even bothering to hold an election.

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The Royal Outing

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Her Majesty, the Queen, and Her Royal Highness, Princess Diana, were out for a drive in the country. Suddenly, upon a quiet road, they were set upon and stopped by a highwayman. He forced them out of the car at gunpoint, and demanded their jewels.

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Posted in Princess Diana, Princess Margaret at May 1st, 2008. No Comments.

The Art of Political Spin by Hillary Rodham Clinton

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Political Spin techniques and how the are packaged.

Judy Wallman, a professional genealogical researcher, discovered that Hillary Clinton’s great-great uncle, Remus Rodham, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889.

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Posted in Hillary Clinton Jokes, Political at April 29th, 2008. No Comments.

Top Ten Duties Of The Miss America Pageant Runner-Up

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10 Sandlbasting mascara off Miss USA winner.

Attending ticker-tape parade for Atlanta Falcons.

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Posted in AB Celebrities at April 27th, 2008. No Comments.

Late-Night Jokes About Sen. Hillary Clinton

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“Chelsea Clinton tried to help her mother attract the gay vote in Pennsylvania by visiting several lesbian bars. That’s true, yeah. Yeah, when asked to comment afterwards, Chelsea said, ‘I’ve never seen so many women with my mom’s haircut.’” –Conan O’Brien

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Posted in AB Celebrities, Hillary Clinton Jokes at April 27th, 2008. No Comments.

List of Celebrity Q-A jokes

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Q. What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common?
A. They both live off dead Beatles.

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Posted in AB Celebrities, Lists, Michael Jackson at April 22nd, 2008. No Comments.

Clinton one-liners - 1

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Clinton and Gore: They have what it takes to take what you’ve got!

“Carter is no longer the worst U.S. President”

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Posted in Bill Clinton Jokes, Hillary Clinton Jokes at March 18th, 2008. No Comments.

Clinton Q & A - 2

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Q: What is the difference between Dan Quayle, Bill Clinton and Jane Fonda?
A: Jane Fonda went to Vietnam.

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Posted in Bill Clinton Jokes at March 18th, 2008. No Comments.

Clinton Q & A

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Q: How do you break a Bill Clinton supporter’s finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.

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Britney spears wants to get genuine Alligator shoes

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Britney spears was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

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Posted in Britney Spears Jokes at March 12th, 2008. No Comments.

Pamela Anderson - 20 Uses a Day

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Pamela Anderson buys a box of laundry detergent, and it says on the box, “20 uses”. A day later, she calls the laundry detergent company and says” I bought your product and the box says ‘20 uses’, but all it does is my laundry!

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Posted in Blonde Jokes, Pamela Anderson Jokes at March 12th, 2008. No Comments.

Smart Pamela Anderson

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Pamela Anderson was bragging about her knowledge of world capitals. She proudly says, “Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them.”

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Posted in Pamela Anderson Jokes, Tom Cruise Jokes at March 12th, 2008. No Comments.

Pamela Anderson at an Appliance Store

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Pamela Anderson went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I would like to buy this TV,” she told the salesman.

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Posted in Pamela Anderson Jokes at March 12th, 2008. No Comments.

Just a Minute - Lindsay Lohan

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Lindsay Lohan calls Delta Airlines and asks, “Can you tell me how long it’ll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?” The agent replies, “Just a minute…” “Thank you,” the Lindsay Lohan says, and hangs up.

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Posted in Lindsay Lohan Jokes at March 12th, 2008. No Comments.

Paris Hilton & Lindsay Lohan the Nuns

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Bored by their wild partying lifestyle Paris Hilton & Lindsay Lohan have turned into nuns.

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Posted in Britney Spears Jokes, Lindsay Lohan Jokes at March 12th, 2008. No Comments.

Why Did Britney Spears shave her head?

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She wanted the drapes to match the carpet.

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Posted in Britney Spears Jokes at March 12th, 2008. No Comments.

A flight with Lindsay

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Lindsay Lohan is travelling from Kansas City to Toronto for the shooting of her new Movie A Woman of No Importance.

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Posted in Blonde Jokes, Lindsay Lohan Jokes at March 11th, 2008. No Comments.

What do you call Britney Spears when she is upset?

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Britney Tears

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Posted in Britney Spears Jokes at March 10th, 2008. No Comments.

Lindsay Lohan & Paris Hilton Bet

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Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton were watching the 6 o’clock news. The news was about a man about ready to jump off a bridge. Lindsay turns to the Paris and says, ” I bet you $50 the man is going to jump.” Paris replies, “Okay you’re on.” Sure enough, the man jumps, and Paris Hilton gives the Lindsay Lohan $50. Lindsay says, “I can’t accept this money. I watched the 5 o’clock news and saw the man jump then.” “No, you have to take it,” says Paris. “I watched the 5 o’clock news too, but I didn’t think he would do it again.”

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Posted in Britney Spears Jokes, Lindsay Lohan Jokes at March 9th, 2008. No Comments.

Adolf Hitler’s Mistakes

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1. Land War in Asia
2. Changed name from highly catchy ‘Schickelgruber’ to boring ‘Hitler’
3. Leaving his little mustache: not growing a friendly Abe Lincoln
beard to instill trust among subjects
4. Not buying lifts for his shoes Read More…

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Posted in Adolf Hitler Jokes, Lists, military at February 29th, 2008. 1 Comment.

Pearls of Wisdom

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“Twenty-Five Things It Took Me Over
50 Years To Learn” by Dave Barry

1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.

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Posted in AB Celebrities, Quotes, Real Stuff at February 27th, 2008. No Comments.

Thinnest Books

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The Book Of Virtues By Bill Clinton

The Amish Phone Directory

Mike Tyson’s Guide To Dating Etiquette

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Posted in Bill Clinton Jokes at February 22nd, 2008. No Comments.

State Capitals

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A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, “Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them.” A friend says, “OK, what’s the capital of Wisconsin?” The blonde replies, “Oh, that’s easy: W.”

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Posted in Albert Einstein Jokes at February 22nd, 2008. No Comments.

Lenin’s silver ruble

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In 1967, the Soviet Government minted a beautiful silver ruble with Lenin in a very familiar pose - arms raised above him, leading the country to revolution. But, it was clear to everybody, that if you looked at it from behind, it was clear that Lenin was pointing to 11:00, when the Vodka shops opened, and was actually saying, “Comrades, forward to the Vodka shops.”

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Posted in Lenin Jokes at February 22nd, 2008. No Comments.

Proof that dogs can read

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dog_peeing.jpg
The camera doesn’t lie.

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Posted in Funny Pictures, George Bush Jokes at February 18th, 2008. No Comments.

Bates and his son

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Mr. Bates was introducing his family members to his Psychiatrist friend. Bates: Please meet my wife Mrs. Bates, my daughter Miss Bates and then my son Master Bates. Psychiatrist: Does he? Send him to my clinic. I will make him alright.

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Laughter Quotes

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The best blush to use is laughter: It puts roses in your cheeks and in your soul.
- Linda Knight

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Posted in AB Celebrities, Quotes at February 16th, 2008. No Comments.

John McCain Jokes

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“John McCain was the big Republican winner. One pundit said McCains lucky nickel was working. He carries a lucky nickel. It must be lucky — six months ago, that was his campaign war chest.” –Jay Leno

“John McCain says that he’s been tested, re-tested and tested again. And that’s just his prostate.” –Jay Leno

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Posted in Elections 2008, John McCain Jokes, us states at February 11th, 2008. 1 Comment.

Hillary Clinton Jokes

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“Because it’s a long, horrifying process to run for the nomination, candidates often like to have fun on the campaign trail. And a couple of days ago — this is great — Hillary Clinton, while she was flying on her campaign airplane, pretended to be a flight attendant. But that’s not all. She was so convincing that Bill actually hit on her.” –Jay Leno

“Congratulations to Hillary Clinton. The big winner up there in New Hampshire. Congratulations to her, did a a nice job. Yeah, despite all the predictions by the pundits, Hillary Clinton refused to roll over. How many times has Bill heard that?” –Jay Leno
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Barack Obama Jokes

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“Barack Obama said today that politics has become too gummed up by money and influence … and then he had to leave to attend a fundraiser.” –Jay Leno
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Posted in Barack Obama Jokes, Elections 2008, USA Jokes at February 11th, 2008. 2 Comments.

Top Ten Reasons Why Britney Shaved Her Head

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britney1.jpg

10: She forgot the number for 911.

9. No one had taken her photo in two and half seconds.

8. Someone told her white was the new black.She thought they meant supremacists.

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It’s the one on the left, right? Of course I see him!

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Posted in Funny Pictures, George Bush Jokes at February 6th, 2008. No Comments.

Who Killed Abraham Lincoln?

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A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions….

Officer: What’s 2+2?

Blonde: Ummmmm… 4!

Officer: What’s the square root of 100?

Blonde: Ummmm… 10!

Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?
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Posted in Abraham Lincoln Jokes, Blonde Jokes at February 6th, 2008. No Comments.

Helen Keller’’s Favorite Color

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What was Helen Keller’’s favorite color?

Corduroy

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Posted in AB Celebrities at February 3rd, 2008. No Comments.