A nation in western Europe slightly below the UK in all or most senses,La France (from the Latin term for “the France”) is the world’s largest known Algerian colonial outpost, known for its Freedom fries, Freedom toast, and Freedom snails. Formerly known as “Freedomland”, it was changed to France by act of Parliament. By this time, however, Freedom Food was well known across the world, so the names stuck.
France was found tied to a large outcrop of Alpine mountains at the end of the English Channel. Founded by the vertically-challenged psychopath Napoléon Bonaparte, France nevertheless grew into the tall and muscular nation it is today. The French are renowned for fermenting excellent cheese, wall making, brewing fine wines, hurling sarcastic retorts at the British, and their use of walls. The primary industry of France is “fine” wine production, coupled with the energy industry, powered by burning automobiles that have been left unattended for over 30 seconds. France also has a thriving industry producing French bread for people all over the world.
France has also been known throughout history for being blamed any time another country screwed over and didn’t bother presenting apologies (see 2003).
(Note: The French may be getting tired of their practice of wall making, now that they’ve gotten Nicolas Sarkozy to redesign their flag. Thus, they now wave the flag of Pacman… or so they claim.)
Q. How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. One, because he holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him
Q: How do you confuse a French Soldier?
A: Give him a rifle and ask him to shoot it.
Q: What’s the motto of the US Marine Corps?
A: Semper Fi (Always Faithful)
Q: What’s the motto of the French Army?
A: Stop, drop, and run!
Q. Why don’t Master Card and Visa work well in France? A. They do not know how to say “CHARGE!”
Q: What do women who are snipers in the French military use as camouflage?
A: Their armpits.
Q: What’s the difference between a Frenchman and a bucket of crap?
A: The bucket
The recent tremors felt throughout France have been attributed to the fifty six thousand+ WWI & WWII U.S. soldiers spinning in their graves.
Q: Why do the French people seem so hell bent on kissing Jacques Chirac’s ass?
A: Because the French, in general are less sensitive to bad smells and certainly more tolerant of bitter flavors!!
Read More…
“France is the most civilized country in the world and doesn’t care who knows it.” —John Gunther
Read More…
Happy 14th of July, France
Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?
A: Nobody knows, it’s never been tried.
Read More…
A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an Englishman on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives.
Read More…
An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the locals, and have a pint of bitter.
Read More…
1. In France, everybody stops for lunch from 11am to 3pm. During these hours it is illegal to operate machinery.
Read More…
A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.
Read More…
Q: What are they calling the Germans, French and Belgians, at the Pentagon?
A: “The Axis of Weasels.” Read More…
For more than 30 years, New York magazine has run a contest in which contestants take a well-known foreign language expression, change a single letter, and provide a definition for the new expression. Here are some favorites.
Read More…
A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, “The bad news is that now we’ve caught you and we’re going to kill you. We will put you in a pot, cook you, eat you and then we’re going to use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you can choose how to die.”
Read More…
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says ” We’re having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive”
Read More…
Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing corporations. It shouldn’t be that hard, yet even the big multi-nationals run into trouble because of language and cultural differences. For example, observe the following examples below.
Read More…
Loading ...
