1. No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
3. If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back, they always catch the second person.
4. You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
5. Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
6. Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
7. You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
8. Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
9. The best place to be when you are sad is Grandmom or Grandpop’s lap.

What do you find up a clean nose? Fingerprints

Q:What did the ghost eat at his birthday party?

A:I scream