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  • When you pick up something off the floor, you have to lean on your putter
  • The only number on your speed dial is 1-800-TEETIME.
  • You have your priorities in order: food, shelter, greens fees, job.
  • You dream you go to prison but still get conjugal visits with your driver.
  • You tell the lost motorist that the gas station is only a par 4 away on the left.
  • Youd like to take off your glove but hey, why bother?
  • Whenever you see a hole in the ground, you squat, squint and read the line.
  • Youre vaguely aware of living with a woman, allegedly your wife
  • You ask the shopper ahead in the checkout line if you can play through.
  • Before you pick up the salt shaker, you mark its position with a dime.

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