The Top 14 Things Bill Clinton Would Say if He Were in “Star Wars”

14. “Well, it depends on your definition of ‘father’, Luke.”

13. “Who knew the Jedi Mind Trick could work on 250 million people all at once?”

12. “I *absolutely* support the use of droids in the military… Okay, now I don’t.”

11. “Oh-h-h, you’re looking for a little *WOOKIE*… Well, that’s different.”

10. “Luke, I am your father. Obi-Wan, I’m your father, too. And that Queen chick? I’m her daddy for sure. And Leia’s. And Lando’s, Boba Fett’s, Jabba the Hutt’s, Chewie’s…”

9. “Wretched hive of scum and villainy? Woo-hoo, count me in!”

8. “I think the American people would like a little more bass in my theme music.”

7. “Dispose of that troublesome young Jedi, Vince Skyfoster — and make it look like a suicide.”

6. “I did not have sexual relations with that wookie, Ms. Chewinsky.”

5. “It’s a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away — and I’m still a lyin’ weasel.”

4. “Cholesterol does not concern me, Admiral. I want that Big Mac — not excuses.”

3. “Sorry about that lightsaber, Sugar. Just consider it laser dental work.”

2. “These are not the droids you’re looking for, Ma’am. Say, it’s getting hot in here — you might want to take off your top.”

1. “She’s my sister?!? Well, back on my home planet of Arkansas, that ain’t an obstacle!”