A man staggered into the casualty department of a hospital, he had severe concussion, two black eyes, multiple bruising and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

Naturally, the doctor asked him “What happened to you?”

The man managed to croak…”Well, my wife and I were having a quiet round of golf, we were playing the eighth…, a difficult hole at the best of times….., anyway, we both sliced our balls into a field full of cattle. We went to look for them and as we were walking round, I noticed that one of the cows had something white at it’s rear end. I went over, lifted it’s tail, and sure enough there was a golf ball with my wife’s initials on it….stuck right in the centre of the cow’s f***y.

Still holding the cow’s tail up, I yelled to my wife “Hey this looks like yours! ”

I don’t remember much after that..