You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.

You want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to have all your holidays and summers free.”

You believe “shallow gene pool” should have it’s own box on the report card.

You believe the staff room should have a Valium salt lick.

When out in public, you feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior.

When you mention “vegetables” and you’re not talking about a food group.

You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.

You wonder how some parents even managed to reproduce.

You can’t have children of your own, because there is no name you could give a child that wouldn’t bring on high blood pressure the moment you heard it.

You really encourage an obnoxious parent to check into home schooling.