There was this guy who had been to about every bar in town. So one night, he hopped into a taxi cab and told the driver to take him to the best bar in town. The cabby took him to a bar, where he got half-drunk. He hopped into the same cab and said that the bar wasn’t good enough — take him to another one. The cabby took him to another bar, where the guy had the time of his life.

The next morning, this guy was in yet another bar telling his buddy what a good time he had the night before, but he couldn’t remember where he was. All he could remember was a red door and a golden toilet

seat.

“Man, we gotta find this place,” said his buddy.

So the two spent half the day searching for a bar with a red door until they found one. They walked in, and the guy asked the bartender, “Was I here last night and too drunk to tell? All I remember is a red door and a golden toilet seat.”

The bartender hollered to the back, “HEY, FRED. HERE’S THAT SON OF A BITCH WHO TOOK A SHIT IN YOUR TUBA LAST NIGHT.”