American Express calls and says: “Leave home without it!”

Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a fine restaurant.

You’re formulating a plan to rob the food bank.

You’ve rolled so many pennies, you’ve formed a psychic bond with Abe.

Long distance companies no longer call you to switch.

Your credit card companies raised the rates from 6.9% to 24.9%.

You see your roommate as a large fried chicken in tennis shoes.

You receive care packages from Europe.

Your bologna has no first name.

You rob Peter…and then rob Paul.

You finally clean your house, hoping to find change.

You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.

You give blood everyday – for the orange juice.

McDonalds supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.

Consumer Credit Counseling services said “No.”

The neighborhood dog stopped sniffing at your pockets.