These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.

Sign in the office of a Roman doctor: “Specialist in women and other diseases.”

Sign in a Tokyo shop: “Our nylons cost more than common, but you’ll find they are best in the long run.”

Sign from a Japanese booklet about using a hotel air CONDITIONER: “COOLERS AND HEATERS: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.”

Two signs from a Morrocan shop entrance: “English well talking.” “Here speeching American.”

Sign at a Budapest zoo: “Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.”

Sign from a translated sentence from a Russian chess book: “A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.”

Sign at a garage in Hertfordshire: “Please do not smoke near the pumps. If your life isn’t worth anything – gas is!”

Sign on the menu of a Swiss restaurant: “Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.”