These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.

Sign in a realtor’s office: “Lots for little.”

Sign in a shoe store: “Come in and have a fit.”

Sign in a maternity clothes store: “We are open on labor day.”

Sign in a non-smoking area: “If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”

Sign on the door of the maternity ward: “Push Push Push.”

Sign at entrance of the IRS: “Watch your step.”

Sign at the exit of the IRS: “Watch your mouth.”

Sign in a bookstore: “We treat you write.”

Sign on a front door: “Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.”