These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.

At a Santa Fe gas station: “We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.”

In a New York restaurant: “Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager.”

On the wall of a Baltimore estate: “Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.-Sisters of Mercy”

On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: “38 years on the same spot.”

In a Los Angeles dance hall: “Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.”

In a Florida maternity ward: “No children allowed.”

In a New York drugstore: “We dispense with accuracy.”

In the offices of a loan company: “Ask about our plans for owning your home.”

In a New York medical building: “Mental Health Prevention Center”