These are supposedly actual classified ads that have appeared in various papers across the world.

LAWYER SAYS CLIENT IS NOT THAT GUILTY.

GROUND BEAST: 99 cents lb.

OPEN HOUSE – BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON – FREE COFFEE & DONUTS

FREE PUPPIES…PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART DOG

FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL – 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR DOG

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG.

GERMAN SHEPHARD. 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.

CUTE KITTEN FOR SALE, 2 CENTS OR BEST OFFER

FREE: FARM KITTENS. READY TO EAT.

KITTENS 8 WEEKS OLD – SEEKING GOOD CHRISTIAN HOME