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Part 1 – The Resume

Your resume is a crucial document that summarizes the essence of your being to a potential employer. You must grab a personnel director’s attention with your sheer, overpowering wonderfulness, or your vitae will wind up lining the bottom of her parakeet’s cage. Write a boring resume and you might as well run down now and join the other unemployed grads behind the appliance store, fighting for the choicest refigerator carton to live in.

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Posted in: Jobs Jokes 1 Comment.

Statistics

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The next time you see some statistics, remember these facts about bread:

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Listening Pigs

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Unless you’ve been living on another planet or you have no electricity.

  1. Baby break dance
  2. Apple Ad – Drunk Jeff Goldblum
  3. Scarlet takes a tumble
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5 Funny Videos (I) [Smilespedia]

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Here are 5 classic funny videos every internet user should see:

Grape lady falls

Charlie bit my finger and it hurts!

Chocolate rain

Charlie The Unicorn

Diet Coke + Mentos
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Mark Twain Quotes

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History does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.

If voting made any difference they wouldn’t let us do it.

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For the grandkids

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Iphone vs. Rock [Smilespedia]

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Iphone vs. Rock



How to get the girl? Ignore her.



pepsi-logo-vs-coke-logo.jpg



The Rabbit

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The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and has each of them try to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

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The US Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That’s an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that’s the way they built them in England, and the US railroads were built by English expatriates.

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Posted in: USA Jokes 1 Comment.

10 Oldest Jokes in the World

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A recent study compiled the 10 Oldest Jokes in the World, dating back to 1900 BC.

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Walmart Job Application – 75 year old

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This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him!!! 

NAME: Jack Buckley   (Grumpy ***)

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate) Read More…



Is that what heaven is really like?

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There were two lovers, who were really into spiritualism and reincarnation. They vowed that if either died, the other one remaining would try to contact the partner in the other world exactly 100 days after their death.

Unfortunately, a few weeks later, the young man died in a car wreck. True to her word, his sweetheart tried to contact him in the spirit world exactly 100 days later. Read More…



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