Here’s a Minnesota Guide to Computer Lingo

LOG ON: making da vood stove hotter

LOG OFF: don’t add no more vood

MONITOR: keep an eye on da vood stove

MEGAHERTZ: vhen da big log drops on your barefoot in da morning

FLOPPY DISK: vhat you get from pilingk too much vood

RAM: da hydraulic thing dat makes da voodsplitter vork

HARD DRIVE: getting home during most of da vinter

PROMPT: vhat ya vish da mail vas during da snow season

ENTER: come on in

WINDOWS: vhat ya shut vhen it gets below zero

SCREEN: vhat you gotta fix on da windows during black fly season

CHIP: vhat ya munch during Vikings games

MICROCHIP: vhat’s left in da bag vhen da chips are gone

MODEM: vhat ya did to da hay fields last Yuly

DOT MATRIX: Eino Matrix’s wife

LAPTOP: vhere da grandkids sit

KEYBOARD: vhere ya suppose to hang da keys so da Misses can find em

SOFTWARE: da plastic picnic utensils, ya?

MOUSE: vhat leaves dem little turds in da cupboard

MAINFRAME: da part of da sauna dat holds up da roof

PORT: vhere da commercial fishin guys tie up dere boats

DOCKING STATION: da same as PORT

RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: vhen ya can’t remember how much ya spent on da new deer rifle vhen da wife asks about it