The more time you spend in reporting on what you are doing, the less time you have to do it in. Stability is achieved when you spend all your time doing nothing but reporting on the nothing you are doing.

The more trivial your research, the more people will read it and agree.

The more vital your research, the less people will understand it.

The more you run over a cat, the flatter it gets.

The most important item in an order will no longer be available.

The most interesting results happen only once.

The most savage controversies are those about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way.

The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.

The number of people watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

The obscure a bureaucrat may see eventually; the completely apparent takes forever.