It’s Father O’Brien’s night to hear confessions, and there are four nuns in the lineup. The first nun goes into the confessional and says, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned, and I should let you know right off that I touched a man with my finger!”

“Oh lass! ‘Tis nothin’, you could have been in a crowded elevator or some similar place,” the priest says.

“Oh no, Father!” exclaims the nun. “I touched him right on his private parts!” >

“You slut! You filthy tart!” screams the good father. “Say a hundred Hail Mary’s and dip your finger in the holy water on the way out of the church!” Which she does.

The second nun enters the confessional and says, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned, and I want to say that I held a man with my hand.”

“Oh lass! ‘Tis nothin’, you might have stumbled and he lent you a hand,” the priest says.

“Oh no, Father!” exclaims the nun. “I held his private parts right in my hand!”

“Why you slut! You whore!” roars the good Father. “Say a thousand Hail Mary’s and dip your hand in the holy water on the way out of the church!” Which she did.

At this point, the fourth nun taps the third nun on the shoulder and says, “Excuse me sister, but would you mind terribly if I went ahead of you?”

“Now why would you be wantin’ to do that, I wonder?” asks the third nun.

To which the fourth nun replies, “Well, it looks as if I’m going to have to gargle with the holy water, and I want to do so before you sit in it!”