A drunken Irishman gets on a train and asks the conductor how long the trip is between Limerick to Cork.

“About two hours,” says the conductor.

“Okay,” says the drunkard, “then how long is the trip between Cork to Limerick?”

The irate conductor says to the drunk “It’s still about two hours, laddie. Why’d ya think there’d be a difference?”

“Well,” says the drunk, “it’s only a week between Christmas and New Year’s, but it’s a helluva long time between New Year’s and Christmas!