“John McCain was the big Republican winner. One pundit said McCains lucky nickel was working. He carries a lucky nickel. It must be lucky  six months ago, that was his campaign war chest.” –Jay Leno
“John McCain says that he’s been tested, re-tested and tested again. And that’s just his prostate.” –Jay Leno
Read More…
“Because it’s a long, horrifying process to run for the nomination, candidates often like to have fun on the campaign trail. And a couple of days ago  this is great  Hillary Clinton, while she was flying on her campaign airplane, pretended to be a flight attendant. But that’s not all. She was so convincing that Bill actually hit on her.” –Jay Leno
“Congratulations to Hillary Clinton. The big winner up there in New Hampshire. Congratulations to her, did a a nice job. Yeah, despite all the predictions by the pundits, Hillary Clinton refused to roll over. How many times has Bill heard that?” –Jay Leno
Read More…
“Barack Obama said today that politics has become too gummed up by money and influence … and then he had to leave to attend a fundraiser.” –Jay Leno
Read More…
Anniston
You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street.
Jasper
It is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb. Read More…
Out on the town one night, a young lad successfully chats up an attractive female, and they go back to her place. “You can’t make any noise,” she warns him. “My parents are upstairs and if they find out they’ll kill us!”
Things start getting heated on the sofa, but after a while alcohol gets the better of the man’s bladder. “I have to go,” he says.
“Well you can’t go upstairs, it’s right next to my parents’ bedroom,” she replies. “Use the kitchen sink”. So he dutifully retires to the kitchen.
A few minutes later, he pops his head round the door and asks… “Do you have any toilet paper?”
If you liked this, you might also like: master card proposal
Posted in:
Funniest Jokes No Comments.
