master card proposal   Top Pick of the Week: Check out this hilarious master card proposal

MOST WANTED:
Valentine`s Day Jokes
Dumb People Jokes
Viral Videos
Santa Jokes
Funny Pictures
Economy Jokes
Relationship Jokes
Funny Lists
Political Jokes
Motivational Posters
Thanksgiving Jokes
Funniest Jokes
Funny eRepublik
Pranks
Photo of the day

Police Jokes


#15 “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”

#14 “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.”

#13 “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”

#12 “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.”

#11 “You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?”

#10 “Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?”

#9 “Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”

#8 “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”

#7 “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.”

#6 “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”

#5 “In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.”

#4 “How big were those ‘Just two beers’ you say you had?”

#3 “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.”

#2 “I’m glad to hear that Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.”

AND THE WINNER IS….

#1 “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.”

If you liked this, you might also like: master card proposal

Posted in: Funny Lists, Police Jokes 1 Comment.

If you liked this, you might also like: master card proposal

Posted in: Funny Pictures, Police Jokes No Comments.

A cop pulls over a guy.
“Your eyes are awfully red. Have you been drinking?”
“Gee, officer,” the man says. “Your eyes are awfully glazed — have you been eating doughnuts?”

If you liked this, you might also like: master card proposal

Posted in: Police Jokes No Comments.

Officer: Hello there, maam. Could I see your license please?
Paris: Jesus! I wish you cops would get it together! You just took away my license yesterday, and now you expect me to show it to you? WTF! Not hot!

If you liked this, you might also like: master card proposal

Posted in: Blonde Jokes, Paris Hilton Jokes, Police Jokes No Comments.

Officer: Miss Hilton, this is the third time youve had a traffic violation in 1 week!
Paris: Well, why did you stop me this time?
Officer: I didnt maam, the tree did. Its nice you wanted to take your dog into the park, but usually walking works better for everyone. Have you been drinking? Read More…

If you liked this, you might also like: master card proposal

Posted in: Blonde Jokes, Paris Hilton Jokes, Police Jokes No Comments.