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Love Jokes


These are NOT made up. These are the actual titles of Country Songs…

1. Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In Bed
2. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth ‘Cause I’m Kissing You Goodbye
3. How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?
4. I Can’t Get Over You, So Why Don’t You Get Under Me?
5. I Don’t Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
6. I Got In At 2 With a 10, And Woke Up At 10 With a 2
7. I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except For Mine
8. I Keep Forgettin’ I Forgot About You
9. I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well
10. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim’s Gettin’ Better
11. I Wouldn’t Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I’m Afraid She’d Win
12. I’ll Marry You Tomorrow But Let’s Honeymoon Tonite
13. I’m So Miserable Without You, It’s Like Having You Here
14. I’ve Got Tears in My Ears From Lying On My Back Crying my eyes out over you
15. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I’d Be Out By Now
16. Mama Get A Hammer (There’s A Fly On Papa’s Head)
17. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don’t Love Jesus
18. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, and I Sure Do Miss Him
19. Please Bypass this Heart
20. She Got The Ring and I Got The Finger
21. You’re The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

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Here is a great collection of love quotes, on one page. Enjoy, send them by email, SMS, Twitter, etc.

USE WITH CAUTION: Some of these quotes might make you seem TOO romantic.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities
or pride; so I love you because I knew no other
way than this, where ‘I’ does not exist, nor ‘you’.
So close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so
close that your eyes close as I fall asleep….Pablo Neruda.

He drew a circle to shut me out, heretic rebel,
a thing to flout. But love and I had the wit to win,
we drew a circle that took him in….Edwin Markham.

In real love you want the other person’s good.
In romantic love, you want the other person….Margaret Anderson.

Dance like no one’s watching,
love like you’ll never be hurt,
sing like no one’s listening,
live like it’s heaven on earth….William Purky.

Read More…

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Here are the best love songs of all times – according to “The Guardian”.
Enjoy.
(and NO, we are NOT getting SOFT)

10. The Police: Every Breath You Take

Sting and co prove that stalking is a fit subject for pop. Paranoid and slightly chilling, avoid socialising with couples who have chosen this to be ‘their song’, as it will probably end in tears at the very least.

9. Eric Clapton: Wonderful Tonight
The leisurely guitar licks and drowsy vocals disguise the fact that the lyrics are simply an account of a rather boring evening in Eric’s life. He watches his other half brush her hair, they go to a party, he gets a headache, gives her the car keys and they go home. Who said romance was dead?

Read More…

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The Doctor because he says, “Take off your clothes.”

The Dentist because he says, “Open wide.”

The hairdresser because he says, “Do you want it teased or blown?”

The Milkman because he says, “Do you want it in front or in back?”

The Interior Decorator because he says, “Once you have it all in, you’ll love it.”

The Banker because he says, “If you take it out too soon, you’ll lose interest.”

The Police Officer because he says, “Spread ‘em.”

The Mailman because he always delivers his package.

The Pilot because he takes off fast and then slows down.

The Hunter because he always goes deep in the bush, shoots twice and always eats what he shoots.

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Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus 1.0 (marketing name: Fiancee 1.0). Recently he upgraded Fiancee 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and it’s a memory hogger, it has taken all his space; and Wife1.0 must be running before he can do anything. Although he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw and BrotherInLaw.

Some features I’d like to see in the Upcoming GirlFriend 4.0… Read More…

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