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Bill Gates Jokes


Dating is never easy for engineers. A normal person will employ various indirect and duplicitous methods to create a false impression of attractiveness. Engineers are incapable of placing appearance above function.
Fortunately, engineers have an ace in the hole. They are widely recognized as superior marriage material: intelligent, dependable, employed, honest, and handy around the house. Read More…

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Bill Gates, the founder of Microsoft decided to retire.
Here is what Jon Swift says about it:

  • Any new Gates will be backward compatible with the old one
  • Even if he announced it some while back, there were delays and it was postponed many time
  • He could have been retired prematurely before solving all the bugs. They could decide to go to a retire beta testing phase to solve the bugs. They could announce Retirement 2.0, and the new new bugs will be solved in Retirement 2.0 SE
  • The entire retirement process may be scrapped and a new retirement process may be started from scratch. This retirement process may then be abandoned after a year and Microsoft would go back to the first retirement process.
  • While some fear that Gates’ retirement might spark a mass exodus of talent from Microsoft, this will probably not happen soon. More than likely his retirement package will become so bloated that it will hog most of Microsoft’s resources. This will make it difficult for others to retire while Gates is retiring.
  • His retirement may be delayed by CEOs of other companies trying to retire. They may complain that Gates has an unfair monopoly on retirement. At this point the Justice Department may have to get involved to analyze the impact of his retirement on the CEOs of other companies. The European Union may decree that he cannot retire.
  • Other companies may also complain that the “look and feel” of Gates’ retirement package is eerily similar to the retirement packages of their CEOs, which might cause some delays while this is litigated. Microsoft will claim that any apparent similarities are superficial.
  • Gates’ retirement may cause Microsoft’s stock to crash causing you to lose any profits that you have not saved. Don’t worry. This is a normal part of the retirement process. In the future you may want to save your profits more often in case the stock crashes again. Microsoft will not be responsible for any profits lost.
  • Gates’ retirement is going to be a very slow process. Get up, make yourself a cup of coffee. Make yourself two cups of coffee. Chances are when you get back to your desk, Gates still won’t be retired. In fact, the entire retirement process may get hung up and have to be restarted again from the beginning.

” End of quote.
Seen it at zoso, from spinei

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At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon.”

In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (by Mr Welch himself):

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API – Time Magazine reports an interesting case of high-tech graffiti. It seems that a couple of Intel engineers working on the design of a recent version of the Pentium microprocessor included a message that describes their feelings about Bill Gates, president of Microsoft, a good corporate pal of Intel’s.
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Bill Gates dies in a car accident.

He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter.

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