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Real Estate Jokes


Some men in a pickup truck drove to a lumber yard. One of the men walked into the office and said, “We need some four-by-twos.”

The clerk asked, “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?”

The man said, “I’ll go check,” and went back to the truck. He returned shortly and said, “Yeah, I meant two- by-fours.”

“All right. How long do you need them?”

The customer paused for a moment and said, “I’d better go check.” After a while, he returned to the office and said, “A long time… we’re gonna build a house!”

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When a real-estate agency hadn’t sold our house, we decided to do it ourselves. I placed ads in the local papers, spray painted a “For Sale” message on a sign board and posted it outside.

When my husband came home that evening, he told me, laughing, that my sign was the most truthful one he had ever seen. Confused, I rushed outside to take a look. In my haste I had printed – “For Sale by Ower.”

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My buyers went through debt consolidation. Now they have only one bill they won’t pay.

My buyer told me that he lived in the same house for 10 years. When I checked, I found out he’d still be there today if the Governor hadn’t pardoned him.

The sellers told me their house was near the water. It was in the basement.

Sign next to FSBO-We shoot every third agent and the 2nd one just left.

My buyers want a new home on the outskirts—of their income, that is.

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When the last of their three children was about to leave home, my parents decided to buy a smaller house.

The Real Estate sign went up. Read More…

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Posted in: Homes for Sale Jokes, Real Estate Jokes 1 Comment.

AGENT: “How much are they asking for your rent now?”
BUYER: “Oh, about twice a day.”

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