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Actual Letter to the Canadian Passport Office – Must Read!

Subject: Actual letter to the Canadian Passport office

Dear Mr. Minister,

I’m in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.

How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a t.v. cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?

My birth date you have on my social insurance card, and it is on all the income tax forms I’ve filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver’s license, on the last eight goddamn passports I’ve had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I’ve had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother’s name is Maryanne, my father’s name is Robert and I’d be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!


I apologize, Mr. Minister. I’m really pissed off this morning. Between you an’ me, I’ve had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fuckin’ address. What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthals assholes workin’ there?

Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don’t want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach.

And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I’d sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, ’cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another fuckin’ copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60 !!!

Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??

Nooooo, that’d be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You’d rather have us running all over the fuckin’ place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some asshole to confirm that it’s really me on the goddamn picture – you know, the one where we’re not allowed to smile?!

(fuckin’ morons)

Hey, you know why we can’t smile? We’re totally pissed off!

Signed – An Irate fucking Canadian Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it’s me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 when one of my forefathers took up arms against the Americans. I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances up the yingyang.

I was aide de camp to the lieutenant governor of our province for ten years and I have been doing volunteer work for the RCMP for about five years.

However, I have to get someone ‘important’ to verify who I am – you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST fucking CHINA!!!

Hamilton, Ontario Canada

Submitted by John Hutchinson

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38 Responses to “Actual Letter to the Canadian Passport Office – Must Read!”

  1. April 8th, 2008 at 3:08 pm #Susan

    PLEASE tell me he got a reply =)

  2. April 14th, 2008 at 7:43 pm #FAKE

    totally Photoshopped

  3. April 15th, 2008 at 12:07 am #come-on

    photoshopped? are you kidding? its a LETTER. maybe it is fake… but ‘photoshopped’? come on.

  4. April 15th, 2008 at 12:18 am #Colin Powell

    Yeah, total shop. You can tell from some of the pixels.

  5. April 15th, 2008 at 12:56 am #Victor

    Isn’t Photoshop about photos? This is text

  6. April 15th, 2008 at 11:26 am #Morons

    Wow, ever hear of sarcasm, people? Fucking morons

  7. April 15th, 2008 at 11:33 am #Jules

    have you ever even used a computer before victor?

  8. April 15th, 2008 at 12:53 pm #Victor

    no Jules, this site is made with my pen and some paper.

  9. April 15th, 2008 at 1:21 pm #Jim

    I’ve applied for and been granted passports from the USA, Canada, and the UK. Each and every one required repeated {each time I applied} submissions of details of family, birth dates etc.

    Have you ever been pulled up, while driving, by the cops and asked for ID and then asked (quite sensibly) after producing your licence what your address or postal code was?

    If you cannot understand simple security procedures as opposed to truly intrusive measures [of which there are many] you should shut up and rest secure that the imperfect AUTHORITIES are (usually) doing their best.

    If you can discover a REAL violation of your rights than let me know.

    Are you really a whining little girl complaining about having to fill out a government form?

  10. April 15th, 2008 at 7:51 pm #mik

    jim, if you think the authorities are just ‘doing their best’ when they pull over a fat bald middle aged man and ask for every single detail of his life, or a pregnant black woman and hold her in a cell overnight because she didn’t have her license on her, then unfortunately you are stupid enough to believe government bullshit.

    I don’t know many people that stupid. I don’t know what to say, I’m so sorry for you.

    Fucking moron.

  11. April 19th, 2008 at 5:24 pm #kircan

    the guy made a great letter
    in my country they ask for a birth certificate, and you have to collect the passport yourself and sign the form, why do they need the birth certificate then
    it’s like a proof i am not dead

    i guess they just need more money
    cause you have to pay for every god damn certificate

  12. May 7th, 2008 at 12:36 pm #Luke

    First off, “Photoshopped!” Are You mad? Sarcasm or not, that just fuckin stupid. Get real man. This letter is proof of how idiosyncratic the process is. Money is everything to wealthy aristocratic “Free Mason” peoples, so every dime that they can squeeze from your pocketbook and every minute they steal from your watch is only better for them. Basically, your a pawn in chess who doesn’t really matter for the bigger picture. The government and its army, police force is just a gigantic gang that battles for turf in its’ land. So with that stated, they already have all the information on you, so asking for it, is not only a waste of time but effort. The burden of proof is on the state not you. You don’t have to prove you don’t exist exist anymore than you have to prove your innocent. They have to prove your guilty and that your alive. Bullshit government bureaucracy.

  13. May 14th, 2008 at 5:50 am #DukeLuke

    photoshopped *LOL*… I like that!

  14. May 17th, 2008 at 4:45 am #Ari

    It’s a shop photo. The comments verify this.

  15. May 18th, 2008 at 11:59 pm #Mark

    Yeah this is photoshopped. It’s really obvious.

  16. May 19th, 2008 at 12:00 am #Sam

    Guys come on this is the most obvious photoshop I’ve ever seen.

  17. May 19th, 2008 at 10:56 pm #One Car

    You are all idiots.
    Its not a photograph of a shop, look at the pixels.
    If you knew anything about computers you could tell its just an old fashioned counterfeit.

  18. May 20th, 2008 at 1:58 pm #marcus

    photoshopped? its so obviously real. who would take the time to rearrange all those black bits. and if they did, they are either some kind of freaky genius or autistic. it looks too real. hmmm. maybe it is fake? if thats the case, technology + a steady hand and loads of time=amazing.

  19. May 21st, 2008 at 9:28 am #Stan

    Agreed, Marcus. This is the best shop/fake I’ve seen since the pictures of the lunar landing.

  20. May 26th, 2008 at 9:24 am #Kaye

    stan and marcus, im totally with you.
    this is a superb photoshop job, right here.

    i think im gonna print it out and hang it on the fridge.

  21. May 29th, 2008 at 7:57 am #Uwana Madik

    This is one of the most stupid things i’ve ever read?
    Do you want the goverment to store all these informations (on a central server) anywhere?! there are reasons why the people who make your passport can’t read you tax forms. If they could, that would open the doors for abuse etc.

  22. June 3rd, 2008 at 9:36 pm #Jeff

    You want them to be able to access at least the info from your last passport- ya know, so they could, oh, say verify it if you ever tried to use said passport?

    The people in those offices should be able to get that info fairly easily. Unless it’s not computerized and sitting in a file cabinet somewhere. Which would be a problem.

  23. June 4th, 2008 at 9:08 pm #DING BOOBS


  24. June 7th, 2008 at 3:06 pm #Anon

    Most definitely a photoshop. I can tell by the oddly misplaced pixels and the mismatched color tones.

    People will shoop anything these days to get some attention.

  25. July 29th, 2008 at 4:32 am #nick

    o01UkT hi! hice site!

  26. October 1st, 2008 at 8:49 pm #Ana

    Guys… who cares if it’s photoshopped or not? It’s still fucking hilarious… sorry but I appreciate the sarcasm more than the alleged wasted hours in photoshop. Even if it was true tho, isn’t it just easier to type it in word??? lol

  27. October 3rd, 2008 at 9:57 pm #Anonymous

    Obviously, the commentators here are half /b/ tards, a quarter “normal,” and a quarter are retarded. Which makes sense, considering a quarter of the population has an IQ below 85.

  28. March 5th, 2009 at 3:18 pm #Colan Tookey

    I wonder if this moron would even believe me if I told him that it is possible for 2 people in a country of millions to have the first and last name, and that adress, DOB and whatever else is used to narrow down indentity to insure the passport is for the right person and reduce identity theft / fraud. What a retard and imbarrasment to canada.

  29. March 5th, 2009 at 3:19 pm #Colan Tookey

    , . .

  30. November 1st, 2009 at 11:52 pm #jaon

    Really folks? Just shut up and be entertained, m’kay?

  31. December 25th, 2009 at 3:19 am #V.PARASURAMAN, VIETNAM

    Hi PALS,

    Do you know that once your passport is issued it will get automatically registered with International Passport Control Bureau in Geneva. Every entry in the passport is recorded in their database. You can check your passport online by logging into the following site. THEN, WHY ALL THIS FUSS OVER THE “ELEGY ON A LIVING PERSON” OF BONE AND FLESH.

    Just your first name and last name is enough.

    http://www.scrolllo home.htm.
    with regards,

  32. December 25th, 2009 at 3:31 am #v.parasuraman, vietnam

    Hi pals,

    Do you know that once your passport is issued it will get automatically registered with International Passport Control Bureau in Geneva. Every entry in the passport is recorded in their database. You can check your passport online by logging into the following site. THEN WHY THIS FUSS OVER THE “ELEGY ON A LIVING PERSON” WITH BONE AND FLESH.

    Just your first name and last name is enough.

    http://www.scrolllo home.htm.


  33. March 19th, 2010 at 1:38 pm #Kerrie Ranum

    Britney is one of the best singers in the world but she does bad things too …

  34. July 25th, 2010 at 8:47 pm #Nobody

    Isn’t this an obvious ripoff of the Australian letter…?

  35. August 13th, 2010 at 9:13 pm #rUsEt

    It’s the written translation of a french video submitted on youtube:

  36. August 29th, 2010 at 2:47 am #photoshop

  37. August 29th, 2010 at 2:47 am #photoshop

    this is an excellent example of photoshop

  38. September 11th, 2010 at 7:16 pm #Ameobadadass

    Oh yeah, Radio Shack and other good honest corporations are considerate that way. Always making sure to hang on to your personal information so they can keep in contact.

    Man, corporations are so generous. They’re always calling you up and sending you letters and e-mail to see how you’re doing, see if there’s anything you need, maybe something from their catalog. Hell, they even think ahead and sell your information to other companies so they can check up on you too.

    Whenever I open my mailbox and I see it stuffed full my heart fills with joy and I can’t help but scream in ecstasy, “They love me, they love me. They really love me.”

    Fuckin’ Big Government! Why can’t they be efficient like Big Business.

    Sure, sometimes corporations make you fill out a bunch of paper work, and sure it often 30 pages long and chock full of fine print text, but you don’t really have to read it. All that boiler plate lawyerese is just there to cover a few technicalities.

    Even here the altruism of corporations is astounding. Out of their own pocket they will provide a representative to assist you and guide you through the process. They will explain to you what it all means to save you the trouble of reading it yourself.

    There, problem solved. Now go ahead and sign it… and here too… and here… just a few more… initial here and here and here… there done, easy peasy.

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