Encyclopedia of Humor

(Guns & Roses’ “Civil War”:) What we’ve got here is… Failure to communicate.
Some men you just can’t reach… I don’t like it any more than you do.

Pink Floyd’s “Nobody Home”:

You have reached 587-8783. Please leave a message. (“Ohhhhhhhhh, babe… When I pick up the phone… There’s still… Nobody home.”)

Madonna’s “Justify My Love”; sultry voice:

Wanting…

Waiting…

For you,

To justify your call…

To the tune of “Ride of the Valkyries”:

Leave a message… Leave a message…

Operatic music like Rossini’s “Stabbat Matter”: Hi, you’ve reached Hell. (Screams in the background.) We’re busy being cleaned by the light of eternal truth right now, so if you leave your name, number, and a brief message, we’ll get back to you at the end of time.