Encyclopedia of Humor

“The Check is in the Mail” by Weird Al Yankovich:

Well hey how you doin’? Have a seat have a drink,

Boy it’s good to see you what can I say,

Oh sorry got to run we’ll get together again,

Say what was your name anyway?

Well we’re working on the problem –

We’ll get back to you soon,

Don’t try to call me I’ll be in a meeting every afternoon for a year, maybe longer, keep in touch, thanks for dropping by and have a nice day.

Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit”:

Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,

No one’s here, no one’s home,

Leave a message, at the tone.

Don’t feel stupid, it’s no big fuss,

Leave a message, you can reach us.

U2′s “With or Without You”:

No one’s here to answer the phone,

Leave a message at the tone,

And we’ll get back to you.

We’ll get back to you!

Cheers TV show theme song, “Where Everybody Knows your Name”:

Sometimes you make a call,

Where you gotta leave your name,

‘Cuz I can’t come to the phone,

You gotta leave a message here,

right after the tone.

You made a call,

Where you gotta leave your name.

Meat Loaf’s “I’d Do Anything For Love”:

And I would do anything for calls,

I promise I will call you back;

I would do anything for calls,

But I can’t talk right now and that’s a fact.

I’m not home right now, so I just can’t answer the phone,

No way,

But I would do anything for calls,

Oh, I would do anything for calls!

Just let me know who it was who called,

And I’ll call you back!

Yes, I’ll call you back!

Just leave a message at the tone,

I’ll hear it when I get back home,

And I will call — you — back!