Encyclopedia of Humor

Voice 1: Gee, Dave, what do you feel like doing tonight?

Voice 2: Same thing we do every night, Rob… Try to take over

the world! (Sing:)

They’re David and the Rob,

Yes, David and the Rob,

One is a drummer, the other needs a job.

They’re not at home right now, so please don’t have a cow,

Leave a message — for David and the Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob.

“If I Only Had A Brain”:

I might be in the shower,

I might be gone for hours,

I can’t come to the phone.

So, please leave your name and number,

If I miss you it’d be a bummer,

Leave your message at the tone…

Beethoven’s Fifth:

Nobody’s home.

Why did you phone?

Please leave your message here when you have heard the tone,

And we will call you back as soon as we get home.

Your message here,

After the tone,

Here is the tone… tone… BEEP

“Winter Wonderland”:

Hear the ring, inside our home.

Once again, can’t get the phone.

So please be polite,

You know that it’s right,

And leave a message when you hear the tone.

“Camptown Races”:

I can’t come to the telephone; doo-dah, doo-dah.

Leave your message when you hear the tone; oh, de doo-dah day.

Might be gone all night… Might be gone all day…

So leave a message when you hear the tone.

I’ll call you back someday…