Encyclopedia of Humor

It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots.

Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.

It is illegal to wear your boots to bed.

Fish may not be contained in fishbowls while on a public bus.

Tissues are not to be found in the back of one’s car.

Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another’s hamburger.

No one may spit on a sidewalk.

Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state.

Cars must be tethered outside of public buildings. (Repealed)

Anyone arrested for soliciting a hooker must have their name and picture shown on television.

It is against the law to read a comic book while operating a motor vehicle.

Whaling is illegal.

Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog.

Tattoos are banned.

Residents are taxed for the furniture in their homes, and any other personal belongings. (Repealed 1998)

People who make “ugly faces” at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.

Ada
If you wear New York Jets clothing, you may be put in jail.

Clinton
Molesting an automobile is illegal.

Hawthahorne
It is unlawful to put any hypnotized person in a display window.

Oklahoma City
No one may walk backwards downtown while eating a hamburger.

Schulter
Women may not gamble in the nude, in lingerie, or while wearing a towel.

Tulsa
You may not open a soda bottle without the supervision of a licensed engineer.

Elephants are not to be taken into the downtown area.

Wynona
One’s mode of transportation must be tied up while not attended.

Mules may not drink out of bird baths.

Clothes may not be washed in bird baths.

Yukon
It is illegal to tie a horse in front of city hall.

While passing another vehicle, you must honk your horn.

Wednesday, October 21, 1992

Kenneth Jeffries, 24, was arrested in West Haven, Conn., in August for robbing a convenience store. Police reported that he had first offered the clerk $1 for a pack of gum as a ruse and then taken $40 in the robbery.

However, said police, Jeffries returned a minute later and asked, uncertainly, “Did I pay for the gum?”

By that time the clerk had summoned police, and Jeffries was soon apprehended.

It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.

It is a felony for a wife to open her husband’s mail.

Seven or more indians are considered a raiding or war party and it is legal to shoot them. (Repealed)

It is a misdemeanor to show movies that depict acts of felonious crime.

In Montana, it is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to fish alone at all.

Excelsior Springs
Balls may not be thrown within the city limits.

Helena
No item may be thrown across a street.

Salisbury
Pop bottles are not to be thrown on the ground.

Whitehall
It is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels.

It is illegal to mistreat anything of great importance.

Owners of tigers must notify authorities within one hour if the tiger escapes.

It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.

Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.

It is illegal to get a fish drunk.

The Ohio driver’s education manual states that you must honk the horn whenever you pass another car.

No one may be arrested on Sunday or on the Fourth of July.

Participating or conducting a duel is prohibited.

Breast feeding is not allowed in public.

In Ohio, if you ignore an orator on Decoration day to such an extent as to publicly play croquet or pitch horseshoes within one mile of the speaker’s stand, you can be fined $25.00.

It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house.

Bay Village
It is illegal to walk a cow down Lake Road.

Bexley
Ordinance number 223, of 09/09/19 prohibits the installation and usage of slot machines in outhouses.

Clinton County
Any person who leans against a public building will be subject to fines.

Cleveland
It’s illegal to catch mice without a hunting license!

Women are forbidden from wearing patent leather shoes, lest men see reflections of their underwear.

Columbus
It is illegal for stores to sell corn flakes on Sunday.

Fairview Park
It’s against the law to honk your horn “excessively”. A grandmother was fined for honking her horn twice at her neighbor.

Items left on a tree lawn become city property. A young man was fined for removing an item from a tree lawn even though he had the owner’s permission.

Ironton
Cross-dressing is against the law.

Lima
Any map that does not have Lima clearly stated on the map cannot be sold.

Lowell
It is unlawful to run a horse over five miles per hour.

Marion
You cannot eat a doughnut and walk backwards on a city street.

North Canton
It is against the law to roller skate without notifying the police.

McDonald
Your goose may not paraded down Main Street.

Oxford
It’s illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man’s picture.

Paulding
A policeman may bite a dog to quiet him.

Toledo
Throwing a snake at anyone is illegal.

Strongsville
Catch 22 is banned.

Youngstown
Riding on the roof of a taxi cab is not allowed.

You may not run out of gas.

Wednesday, October 21, 1992

A Japanese rancher told reporters in Tokyo in July that he herds cattle by outfitting them with pocket pagers (beepers), which he calls from his portable phone.

After a week of training, the cows associate the beeping with eating and hustle up for grub.