Encyclopedia of Humor

It is illegal to challenge someone to a duel, or accept a duel, even if it is never actually fought. Penalty: Imprisonment for one to seven years.

Riding a horse over any public highway for the purpose of racing, or testing the speed of the horse is illegal. Penalty: Maximum $20 fine and imprisonment for 10 days.

Exercising any labor, business, or work, or using any game, sport, play, or recreation, or causing any of the above to be done to or by your children, servants, or apprentices on the first day of the week (Sunday) results in a penalty of $5 for the first offense and $10 for the second.

It is illegal to coast downhill in your car with your transmission in neutral, or with the clutch disengaged.

Impersonating a town sealer, auctioneer, corder of wood, or a fence-viewer is against the law. Penalty: $20 to $100 fine.

It is illegal to place a windmill within twenty-five (25) rods of any traveled street or road.

It is considered an offense to throw pickle juice on a trolley.

Rhode Island recently applied to the US Government to make all the coastal waters of Rhode Island a “No Discharge Zone”. The ostensible purpose was to prohibit the discharge of sewage by boats into the state’s waters. However, discharge of raw sewage into the state waters was already illegal. What the “No Discharge Zone” actually did was make it illegal to discharge TREATED sewage from a boat into state waters. What now happens is that boats (whose treatment systems far outperform municipal sewage treatment plants) are now required to disable their sewage treatment systems, and carry their sewage to a shore-based facility, which then dumps the partially treated sewage back into Rhode Island’s coastal waters.

Professional sports, except ice polo and hockey, must obtain a license to play games on Sunday.

Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is null and void. -SECTION 11-40-1

Newport
You cannot smoke a pipe after sunset.

Providence
There is not an appeals process for exemtion of property tax due to a disability or poverty.

It is illegal to wear transparent clothing.

You may not sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same customer on a Sunday.

West Warwick
It is illegal to use water on even-numbered days for the sole purpose of watering plants, gardens, or lawns. If you break this law there is a fine of $25-$100.

It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.

It is considered an offense to check into a hotel under an assumed name.

Any cattle that crosses state roads must be fitted with a device to gather its feces.

You cannot sell the clothes you are wearing to pay off a gambling debt.

You may not run machinery on Sundays.

You may not tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.

On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.

White Mountain Nat. Forest
If a person is caught raking the beaches, picking up litter, hauling away trash, building a bench for the park, or many other kind things without a permit, he/she may be fined $150 for ”maintaining the national forest without a permit”.

Sunday, November 29, 1992

An investigation by the Dallas Morning News revealed the city’s public schools employ at least 185 people who have been convicted of felonies, including two convicted murderers.

In response, the school superintendent promised that the city would begin periodic records checks.

No more than two packages of beer at a time may be purchased, unless you are buying from an official “beer distributor”

You may not catch a fish by any body part except the mouth.

Motorized vehicles are not to be sold on Sundays.

You may not catch a fish with your hands.

It it illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.

You may not sing in the bathtub.

Fireworks stores may not sell fireworks to Pennsylvania residents.

Dynamite is not to be used to catch fish.

It is illegal to have over 16 women live in a house together because that constitutes a brothel. However up to 120 men can live together, without breaking the law.

Though you do not need a fishing license to fish on your own land, but a hunting license is required to hunt on your own land.

Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue.

A person is not eligible to become Governor if he/she has participated in a duel.

Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. If the horses appear skittish, the motorist must take his car apart, piece by piece, and hide it under the nearest bushes.

Ministers are forbidden from performing marriages when either the bride or groom is drunk.

All liquor stores must be run by the state.

A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.

It is contrary to Pennsylvania law to discharge a gun, cannon, revolver or other explosive weapon at a wedding.

Carlisle
In the middle of town, one must pay a fee of $50 dollars a year to park on a particular block. At night, however, the cars must be moved for street cleaning. This law is enforced even if snow or ice prevents the cars from being moved.

Connellsville
One’s pants may be worn no lower than five inches below the waist.

Danville
All fire hydrants must be checked one hour before all fires.

Millville
The sale of alcohol is prohibited.

One may not shoot any dog that is found wandering the streets.

Morrisville
It is required that a woman have a permit to wear cosmetics.

Newtown
Every outlet or switch (which can be purchased for 59 cents) that is installed requires an electrical inspection fee of 1 dollar and 33 cents.

Pittsburgh
No one is allowed to sleep on a refrigerator.

It is still illegal to bring a donkey or a mule onto a trolley car.

Ridley Park
You cannot walk backwards eating peanuts in front of the Barnstormers Auditorium during a performance.

Tarentum
Horses are not to be tied to parking meters.

It’s still “legal” to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property.

It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway.

Clark County
An ordinance makes bringing a concealable fire arm into the county illegal unless it is registered with the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department. In order to register a handgun, however, it must be brought in to the police station. Furthermore, you may not register a gun on the weekends, but the police may prosecute you at that time.

Elko
Everyone walking the streets is required to wear a mask.

Eureka
Men who wear moustaches are forbidden from kissing women.

Nyala
A man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other than himself at any one period during the day.