Encyclopedia of Humor

Any person crippling, killing or in any way destroying a proud female dog that is running at large shall not be held liable for the damages due to such killing or destruction.

“Crimes against nature” are prohibited.
More than 8 women may not live in the same house because that would constitute a brothel.

It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.

Hollow logs may not be sold.

It is legal to gather and consume roadkill.

Stealing a horse is punishible by hanging.

Driving is not to be done while asleep.

You can’t shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile.

Dyersburg
It is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date.

Fayette County
You may not have more than five inoperable vehicles on a piece of property.

Lenoir City
When you pull up to a stop sign you must fire a gun out the window to warn horse carriages that you are coming.

Lexington
No one may eat ice cream on the sidewalk.

Spitting on the sidewalk is prohibited.

Knoxville
In front of their buildings, all businesses must have a “hitching post.”

Memphis
Panhandlers must first obtain a $10 permit before begging on the streets of downtown Memphis. (Passed in 1996)

Illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or walking in front of it waving a red flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians.

It’s illegal for frogs to croak after 11 PM.

It is illegal to give any pie to fellow diners. It is also illegal to take unfinished pie home. All pie must be eaten on the premises.

Oneida
An ordinance forbids anyone to sing the song “It Ain’t Goin’ To Rain No Mo’.”

Movies that show police officers being struck, beaten, or treated in an offensive manner are forbidden.

No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants.

If there are more than 5 Native Americans on your property you may shoot them.

It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.

Spearfish
If three or more Indians are walking down the street together, they can be considered a war party and fired upon.

Sunday, November 29, 1992

An investigation by the Dallas Morning News revealed the city’s public schools employ at least 185 people who have been convicted of felonies, including two convicted murderers.

In response, the school superintendent promised that the city would begin periodic records checks.

It is considered an offense to get a tattoo.

Performing a U-turn within 1,000 feet of an intersection is illegal.

All schools must prepare a suitable program for Francis Willard Day.

Dance halls may not operate on Sundays.

Horses may not be kept in bathtubs.

Fortune tellers are required to obtain a special permit from the state.

A railroad my not remove itself from a town of more than five hundred people.

Merchandise may not be sold within a half mile of a church unless fruit is being sold.

It is perfectly legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays.

Every adult male must bring a rifle to church on Sunday in order to ward off Indian attacks.

Musical instruments may not be sold on Sunday.

When approaching a four way or blind intersection in a non-horse driven vehicle you must stop 100 ft from the intersection and discharge a firearm into the air to warn horse traffic.

It is illegal to sell any alcoholic beverages on Sunday, unless you own a private club. (Repealed November 2000)

It is a capital offense to inadvertently kill someone while attempting suicide.

By law, if a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, the marriage must take place.

It is illegal to communicate with a woman using obscene messages.

No work may be done on Sunday.
(An exception to the above law is that light bulbs may be sold.)

Railroad companies may be held liable in some instances for scaring horses.

It is illegal to display a confederate flag on a courthouse.

Charleston
It is against the law to drive a motorized vehicle on King Street.

The Fire Department may blow up your house. This law was made so that the fire department could create a fire brake.

Fountain Inn
Horses are to wear pants at all times.

Lancaster County
It is illegal to dance in public in Lancaster.

Spartanburg
Eating watermelons in the Magnolia Street cemetery is forbidden.

It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.

You may not slurp your soup.

If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates.

It is against the law to “frown” at a police officer.

On a highway you can not park under a bridge.

Car dealerships are forbidden from opening on Sunday.

You cannot pump your own gas. All gas stations are full service and full service only.

Automobiles are not to pass horse drawn carriages on the street.

It is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon.

Bernards Township
It is illegal to frown as the town is a “Frown-Free Town Zone”.

Caldwell
You may not dance or wear shorts on the main avenue.

Cranford
Citizens are not permitted to park their own boat on their lawn.

Cresskill
All cats must wear three bells to warn birds of their whereabouts.

Elizabeth
It is forbidden for a woman, on a Sunday, to walk down Broad Street without wearing a petticoat.

Manville
It is illegal to offer whiskey or cigarettes to animals a the local zoo.

Newark
It is illegal to sell ice cream after 6pm, unless the customer has a note from his doctor.

Ocean City
Pinball machines are not to be played on Sunday.

People may not slurp their soup.

Raw hamburger may not be sold.

Raritan
Profanity is prohibited.

Sea Isle City
There will be no boiling of bones on the property.

Trenton
Pickles are not to be consumed on Sundays.

You may not throw a bad pickle in the street.